The social norm of reciprocity is the expectation that people will respond to each other in similar ways—responding to gifts and kindnesses from others with similar benevolence of their own, and responding to harmful, hurtful acts from others with either indifference or some form of retaliation. Such norms can be crude and mechanical, such as a literal reading of the eye-for-an-eye rule lex talionis , or they can be complex and sophisticated, such as a subtle understanding of how anonymous donations to an international organization can be a form of reciprocity for the receipt of very personal benefits, such as the love of a parent.
141-404: Friendship is a relationship of mutual affection between people. It is a stronger form of interpersonal bond than an "acquaintance" or an "association", such as a classmate, neighbor, coworker, or colleague. In some cultures, the concept of friendship is restricted to a small number of very deep relationships; in others, such as the U.S. and Canada, a person could have many friends, and perhaps
282-415: A dominance hierarchy . For example, a hierarchical organization uses a command hierarchy for top-down management. This can reduce time wasted in conflict over unimportant decisions, prevents inconsistent decisions from harming the operations of the organization, maintain alignment of a large population of workers with the goals of the owners (which the workers might not personally share) and, if promotion
423-549: A rejection . Disruptions of friendships are associated with increased guilt , anger , and depression , and may be highly stressful events, especially in childhood . However, potential negative effects can be mitigated if the dissolution of a friendship is replaced with another close relationship. Friends tend to be similar to one another in terms of age, gender, behavior, substance abuse , personal disposition, and academic performance. In ethnically diverse countries, children and adolescents tend to form friendships with others of
564-541: A beginning, a lifespan, and an end. They tend to grow and improve gradually, as people get to know each other and become closer emotionally, or they gradually deteriorate as people drift apart, move on with their lives and form new relationships with others. One of the most influential models of relationship development was proposed by psychologist George Levinger . This model was formulated to describe heterosexual, adult romantic relationships, but it has been applied to other kinds of interpersonal relations as well. According to
705-645: A codependent partner enabling substance abuse, but it has become more broadly defined to describe a dysfunctional relationship with extreme dependence on or preoccupation with another person. There are some who even refer to codependency as an addiction to the relationship. The focus of codependents tends to be on the emotional state, behavioral choices, thoughts, and beliefs of another person. Often those who are codependent neglect themselves in favor of taking care of others and have difficulty fully developing an identity of their own. Narcissists focus on themselves and often distance themselves from intimate relationships;
846-481: A duty of gratitude, as well as calibrating the extent one's gratitude, seems inconsistent with the warm and benevolent feelings of "being grateful." There is a similar inconsistency in the idea of enforcing a duty to love. Reciprocity, by contrast, because it does not necessarily involve having special feelings of love or benevolence, fits more comfortably into discussions of duties and obligations. Further, its requirement of an in-kind response invites us to calibrate both
987-405: A friend who has roughly the same resources, a prompt and exact return of the same amount seems right. Less will be too little, and a return with interest will often be too much, between friends. But in other cases, especially in exchanges between people who are very unequal in resources, a literal reading of tit-for-tat may be a perverse rule – one that undermines the social and personal benefits of
1128-642: A friend. Recent work on friendship in young children investigated the cues they use to infer friendship. Young children use cues such as sharing resources, like snacks, and sharing secrets, especially in older adolescents, to determine friendship status. When comparing cues of similarity in food preference or gender, propinquity , and loyalty in adolescent children, younger children rely on similarity in gender/food preferences but more so propinquity to infer friendship while older adolescents rely heavily on propinquity to infer friendship. As children mature, they become more reliant on others, as awareness grows. They gain
1269-439: A friendship or romantic relationship, one person may have strong opinions about where to eat dinner, whereas the other has strong opinions about how to decorate a shared space. It could be beneficial for the party with weak preferences to be submissive in that area because it will not make them unhappy and avoids conflict with the party that would be unhappy. The breadwinner model is associated with gender role assignments where
1410-638: A friendship with. During adolescence, friendship relationships are more based on similar morals and values, loyalty, and shared interests than those of children, whose friendships stem from being in the same vicinity and access to playthings. A large study of American adolescents determined how their engagement in problematic behavior (such as stealing, fighting, and truancy) was related to their friendships. Findings indicated that adolescents who were less likely to engage in problematic behavior had friends who did well in school, participated in school activities, avoided drinking, and had good mental health . The opposite
1551-402: A group of people, as in polyamory . On the basis of openness, all romantic relationships are of 2 types: open and closed. Closed relationships are strictly against romantic or sexual activity of partners with anyone else outside the relationships. In an open relationship , all partners remain committed to each other, but allow themselves and their partner to have relationships with others. On
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#17327650318261692-515: A higher level of costs than PRs, therefore, one would assume that LDRs are less satisfying than PRs. Individuals in LDRs are more satisfied with their relationships compared to individuals in PRs. This can be explained by unique aspects of the LDRs, how the individuals use relationship maintenance behaviors, and the attachment styles of the individuals in the relationships. Therefore, the costs and benefits of
1833-545: A junior in relation to parents and elders; and as a senior in relation to younger siblings, students, and others. Juniors are considered in Confucianism to owe their seniors reverence and seniors have duties of benevolence and concern toward juniors. A focus on mutuality is prevalent in East Asian cultures to this day. The mindfulness theory of relationships shows how closeness in relationships may be enhanced. Minding
1974-475: A larger society. For example, a feudal society under a monarchy exhibits a strong dominance hierarchy in both economics and physical power, whereas dominance relationships in a society with democracy and capitalism are more complicated. In business relationships, dominance is often associated with economic power . For example, a business may adopt a submissive attitude to customer preferences (stocking what customers want to buy) and complaints ("the customer
2115-402: A larger theory of social exchange . This theory is based on the idea that relationships develop as a result of cost–benefit analysis . Individuals seek out rewards in interactions with others and are willing to pay a cost for said rewards. In the best-case scenario, rewards will exceed costs, producing a net gain. This can lead to "shopping around" or constantly comparing alternatives to maximize
2256-532: A month had similar satisfaction levels to unmarried couples who cohabitated. Also, the relationship satisfaction was lower for members of LDRs who saw their partner less frequently than once a month. LDR couples reported the same level of relationship satisfaction as couples in PRs, despite only seeing each other on average once every 23 days. Social exchange theory and the am investment model both theorize that relationships that are high in cost would be less satisfying than relationships that are low in cost. LDRs have
2397-480: A more intense relationship with one or two people, who may be called good friends or best friends . Other colloquial terms include besties or Best Friends Forever ( BFF s). Although there are many forms of friendship, certain features are common to many such bonds, such as choosing to be with one another, enjoying time spent together, and being able to engage in a positive and supportive role to one another. Sometimes friends are distinguished from family , as in
2538-466: A new friendship with another person an individual should be able to discern: whether the potential friend will be willing to help them back in the future, if the potential friend is in the position to help them in the future, and if the friendship is worth continuing or not, especially when many other potential friendships can be made. These factors will determine whether forming a friendship with someone will be beneficial or injurious. Another explanation for
2679-412: A particular interaction itself. Tit for tat, defined in a literal way as an exchange of the identical kinds of goods (client list for client list, referral for referral) may be the only sort of reciprocal response that is appropriate in a clearly defined business situation. Similarly, dinner-for-dinner may be the expectation among members of a round robin dinner club. But when the nature of the transaction
2820-450: A person incapable of having an interpersonal relationship due to their being cunning, envious, and contemptuous. Human beings are innately social and are shaped by their experiences with others. There are multiple perspectives to understand this inherent motivation to interact with others. According to Maslow's hierarchy of needs , humans need to feel love (sexual/nonsexual) and acceptance from social groups (family, peer groups). In fact,
2961-402: A person's prospects for good health and longevity. Conversely, loneliness and a lack of social supports are linked to an increased risk of heart disease , viral infections , and cancer , as well as higher mortality rates overall. Researchers termed friendship networks a "behavioral vaccine " that boosts both physical and mental health. A large body of research links friendship and health, but
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#17327650318263102-479: A place of greater importance among family and social structures. In ancient times, parent–child relationships were often marked by fear, either of rebellion or abandonment, resulting in the strict filial roles in, for example, ancient Rome and China. Freud conceived of the Oedipal complex , the supposed obsession that young boys have towards their mothers and the accompanying fear and rivalry with their fathers, and
3243-584: A positive experience when the relationship did not expand the self and when the breakup leads to personal growth. They also recommend some ways to cope with the experience: Less time between a breakup and a subsequent relationship predicts higher self-esteem, attachment security, emotional stability, respect for your new partner, and greater well-being. Furthermore, rebound relationships do not last any shorter than regular relationships. 60% of people are friends with one or more ex. 60% of people have had an off-and-on relationship. 37% of cohabiting couples, and 23% of
3384-466: A principled, impartial way that forbids playing favorites and may require sacrifices. All of those things are certainly in the neighborhood of the elements of reciprocity (e.g., fittingness, proportionality), but it is challenging to explain the precise connections. Discussions of merit, desert, blame, and punishment inevitably involve questions about the fittingness and proportionality of our responses to others, and retributive theories of punishment put
3525-399: A profound effect on social, psychological, emotional, and academic outcomes. Although proximity and contact usually decreases over time, sibling bonds continue to have effect throughout their lives. Sibling bonds are one of few enduring relationships humans may experience. Sibling relationships are affected by parent-child relationships, such that sibling relationships in childhood often reflect
3666-540: A reason for rules of justice, but again raises problems about requiring individuals to sacrifice their own welfare for the good of others—especially when some individuals might not share the particular goals for social improvements at issue. Here too, the value of reciprocal relationships can be invoked, this time to limit the legitimacy of the sacrifices a society might require. For one thing, it seems perverse to require sacrifices in pursuit of some social goal if it turns out those sacrifices are unnecessary, or in vain because
3807-550: A relationship will continue. Research conducted in Iran and other countries has shown that conflicts are common between couples, and, in Iran, 92% of the respondents reported that they had conflicts in their marriages. These conflicts can cause major problems for couples and they are caused due to multiple reasons. Abusive relationships involve either maltreatment or violence such as physical abuse, physical neglect, sexual abuse, and emotional maltreatment. Abusive relationships within
3948-471: A relationship. Being submissive can be beneficial because it saves time, limits emotional stress, and may avoid hostile actions such as withholding of resources, cessation of cooperation, termination of the relationship, maintaining a grudge, or even physical violence. Submission occurs in different degrees; for example, some employees may follow orders without question, whereas others might express disagreement but concede when pressed. Groups of people can form
4089-458: A result, many older men may rely upon a female companion, such as a spouse, to compensate for their comparative lack of social skills. One study found that women in Europe and North America were slightly more likely than men to self-report having a best friend. Which relationships count as a true friend, rather than as an acquaintance or a co-worker, vary by culture. In English-speaking cultures, it
4230-433: A return to a similar network. Blood banks and food banks are examples. But in fact any stable social structure in which there is a division of labor will involve a system of reciprocal exchanges of this generalized sort, as a way of sustaining social norms . All of these patterns of reciprocity, along with related ideas such as gratitude , have been central to social and political philosophy from Plato onward. Reciprocity
4371-443: A sense of mutuality and mutual benevolence. (See the reference below to Becker, Reciprocity , and the bibliographic essays therein.) Reciprocity pointedly covers arm’s-length dealings between egoistic or mutually disinterested people. Moreover, norms of gratitude do not speak very directly about what feelings and obligations are appropriate toward wrongdoers, or the malicious. Reciprocity, by contrast, speaks directly to both sides of
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4512-434: A set pattern like robots, reciprocation from a friend to a friend for example will vary in intensity and an absolutely consistent pattern cannot be expected. If for example a person has a large inner circle of friendships with reciprocation as the key element of friendship, then the level of reciprocation within the inner circle will influence the depth of a friendship therein. Reciprocation can be responsive or initiative. It
4653-457: A significant other activates specific self-beliefs, changing how one thinks about oneself in the moment more so than exposure to someone who does not resemble one's significant other . Power is the ability to influence the behavior of other people. When two parties have or assert unequal levels of power, one is termed "dominant" and the other "submissive". Expressions of dominance can communicate an intention to assert or maintain dominance in
4794-625: A social association, connection , or affiliation between two or more persons. It overlaps significantly with the concept of social relations , which are the fundamental unit of analysis within the social sciences . Relations vary in degrees of intimacy, self-disclosure, duration, reciprocity, and power distribution. The main themes or trends of the interpersonal relations are: family , kinship , friendship , love , marriage , business , employment , clubs , neighborhoods , ethical values , support and solidarity . Interpersonal relations may be regulated by law , custom , or mutual agreement, and form
4935-569: A system of reciprocity in which all the benefits we are required to contribute are typically returned to us in full (or more), that may justify playing by the rules—even in cases where it looks as though we can get away with not doing so. Social well-being . Another obvious answer to the question of why people organize themselves into groups, however, is in order to achieve levels of cooperation needed for improving society generally – for example by improving public health, and society-wide levels of education, wealth, or individual welfare. This also gives
5076-417: A variety of methods in deciding allies such as bandwagoning or choosing an ally that is loyal and will come to your aid in the future conflicts. Thus, individuals should form alliances (i.e., friendships) with people that ranks themselves higher than other allies/friends. It is relative rank (i.e., where the self ranks among all other individuals) that is the most important contributing factor when deciding who
5217-475: A very strict dominance hierarchy , form alliances (i.e., coalitionary bonds) to move up the dominance hierarchy by usurping a hyena of higher dominance rank. Feral female horses develop alliances with other female horses to avoid harassment from male horses and these alliances aid in increasing their offspring's chances of survival. Interpersonal relationship In social psychology , an interpersonal relation (or interpersonal relationship ) describes
5358-789: A wide range of fitness and survival reasons. Across a range of non-human animal species, alliances are formed for protection, competition over reproductive access to receptive mates, as means to seek social comfort, solidify social bonds, and to thwart diseases. An expansive meta-analysis examining grooming behaviors in 14 different primate species found that grooming behaviors elicit different types of benefit exchanges, such as support and aid for future intra-species conflicts. Male bottlenose dolphins use synchronous surfacing to determine membership of other potential male allies while female bottlenose dolphins use gentle contact behaviors (i.e., touching behaviors) with other females in response to harassment from males. Female spotted hyenas , whose groups follow
5499-439: A workplace performance appraisal , in which one person tells a friend that they are dissatisfied and threatens to break off the relationship if the friend does not conform to their expectations. The end of a friendship is often due to inappropriate expectations on the part of the dissatisfied person, and demanding that a friend meet those expectations is incompatible with friendship's voluntary qualities. Another option would be for
5640-505: Is a common experience among those who are diagnosed with a range of mental disorders , and can be used as a telling factor. A 2004 study from the American Journal of Public Health observed that lack of friendship plays a role in increasing risk of suicidal ideation among female adolescents, while also true for having more friends who are not themselves friends with one another. However, it is also suggested that no similar effect
5781-434: Is a loyal ally and friend. Jealousy is an emotion that is often studied in the context of romantic and sexual relationships. However, individuals also feel jealous when it comes to potentially losing valued friendships. Friendship jealousy acts as an alert to the self that a close friends' other friends may be a threat to the self's relationship with that close friend which motivates the self to enact behaviors that prevent
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5922-467: Is also a fundamental principle in parenting, a successful work place, religion and karma. So for example, in the friendship context, reciprocation means to give or take mutually but not necessarily equally. Overall reciprocal balance is more important than strict equality at every moment. Friendship based on reciprocity means caring for each other, being responsive and supportive and in tune with each other. But without some form of overall reciprocal balance,
6063-403: Is always right") in order to earn more money. A firm with monopoly power may be less responsive to customer complaints because it can afford to adopt a dominant position. In a business partnership a "silent partner" is one who adopts a submissive position in all aspects, but retains financial ownership and a share of the profits. Two parties can be dominant in different areas. For example, in
6204-460: Is associated with dropping out of school , as well as aggression , adult crime , and loneliness . Peer rejection is also associated with lower later aspiration in the workforce and participation in social activities, while higher levels of friendship were associated with higher adult self-esteem . Having more close friends is correlated with improved mental health and cognitive ability . However, this association stops once around five friends
6345-455: Is based on merit, help ensure that the people with the best expertise make important decisions. This contrasts with group decision-making and systems which encourage decision-making and self-organization by front-line employees, who in some cases may have better information about customer needs or how to work efficiently. Dominance is only one aspect of organizational structure . A power structure describes power and dominance relationships in
6486-423: Is certainly a legitimate question. Charging a child or a citizen with ingratitude can imply a failure to meet a requirement. But confining the discussion to gratitude is limiting. There are similar limitations in discussions of the do-unto-others golden rule , or ethical principles that are modeled on the mutuality and mutual benevolence that come out of the face-to-face relations envisaged by Emmanuel Levinas or
6627-569: Is easier and conflict resolution skills may not develop in the same way. Additionally, the definition of infidelity is both broadened and narrowed, since physical infidelity becomes easier to conceal but emotional infidelity (e.g. chatting with more than one online partner) becomes a more serious offense. Reciprocity (social and political philosophy) The norm of reciprocity varies widely in its details from situation to situation, and from society to society. Anthropologists and sociologists have often claimed, however, that having some version of
6768-433: Is even less precise. Here donors operate within a large network of social transactions largely unknown to each other, and without expectations about getting specific benefits in return — other than, perhaps, the sort of social insurance provided by the continuance of the network itself. Recipients may not know the donors, and may not themselves be able to make a return in-kind to that network, but perhaps feel obligated to make
6909-570: Is mentioned in Aristotle's Nicomachean Ethics at Book 5, Chapter 5, Line 1: "Some think that reciprocity is without qualification just, as the Pythagoreans said;", meaning that "Should a man suffer what he did, right justice would be done". Aristotle is stating the problems of this approach. And later he concludes that "…for this is characteristic of grace -- we should serve in return one who has shown grace to us, and should another time take
7050-637: Is more likely to trigger like or hate. Technological advance: The Internet removes the problem of lack of communication due to long distance. People can communicate with others who live far away from them through video calls or text. Internet is a medium for people to be close to others who are not physically near them. Similarity: People prefer to make friends with others who are similar to them because their thoughts and feelings are more likely to be understood. Interpersonal relationships are dynamic systems that change continuously during their existence. Like living organisms, relationships have
7191-512: Is more loosely defined, or is embedded in a complex personal relationship, an appropriate reciprocal response often requires spontaneity, imagination, and even a lack of premeditation about where, what, and how soon. Fitting the response to the recipient . Another aspect of qualitative fit is what counts subjectively, for the recipient, as a response in-kind. When we respond to people who have benefited us, it seems perverse to give them things they do not regard as benefits. The general principle here
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#17327650318267332-775: Is much overlap between men and women for the traits they prefer in close same-gender friends (e.g., being prioritized over other friends, friends with varied knowledge/skills), there are some differences: women compared to men had greater preference for emotional support, emotional disclosure, and emotional reassurance, while men compared to women had greater preference for friends that offer opportunities for accruing status, boosting their reputation, and will provide physical aid. Most people underestimate how much other people like them. The liking gap can make it difficult to form friendships. According to communications professor Jeffery Hall, most friendships involve tacitly agreed-upon expectations in six different areas: Not all relationships have
7473-797: Is not unusual for people to include weaker relationships as being friends. In other cultures, such as the Russian and Polish cultures, only the most significant relationships are considered friends. A Russian might have one or two friends plus a large number of "pals" or acquaintances; a Canadian in similar circumstances might count all of these relationships as being friends. In Western cultures , friendships are often seen as lesser to familial or romantic relationships. Friendships in Ancient Greece were more utilitarian than affectionate, being based upon obligation and reliance, though different Classical communities understood friendship in different ways, and
7614-488: Is observed for males. Higher friendship quality directly contributes to self-esteem, self-confidence, and social development. A World Happiness Database study found that people with close friendships are happier, although the absolute number of friends did not increase happiness. Other studies suggested that children who have friendships of a high quality may be protected against the development of certain disorders, such as anxiety and depression. Conversely, having few friends
7755-442: Is often the case that one party will typically be the lead reciprocator with the other being the responsive reciprocator. The form of reciprocation can also be influenced by the level of emotional need. Sometimes one party will need more support than the other and this can switch at different times depending on the life situation of each party. Because reciprocation is influenced by personal circumstances and since people do not follow
7896-457: Is reached, after which having more friends is no longer linked to better mental health and is correlated with lower cognition . Additionally, people with few or many friends had more symptoms of Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and were less able to learn from their experiences. Friendships may end. This is often the result of natural changes over time, as friends grow more distant both physically and emotionally, but it can also be
8037-416: Is that people need to stay out of each other's way enough so that each can pursue his or her individual interests as far as possible, without interference from others. This immediately justifies rules that are mutually advantageous, but it raises questions about requiring obedience from people whenever it turns out that they will be disadvantaged by following the rules, or can get away with disobeying them. So
8178-444: Is that, other things equal, a return of good for good received will require giving something that will actually be appreciated as good by the recipient – at least eventually. Similarly for the negative side. When we respond to bad things, reciprocity presumably requires a return that the recipient regards as a bad thing. Unusual circumstances . A third aspect of qualitative fit is the presence or absence of circumstances that undermine
8319-423: Is the "reciprocal knowing process involving the nonstop, interrelated thoughts, feelings, and behaviors of persons in a relationship." Five components of "minding" include: Popular perceptions of intimate relationships are strongly influenced by movies and television. Common messages are that love is predestined, love at first sight is possible, and that love with the right person always succeeds. Those who consume
8460-802: Is therefore equally difficult to define. Hazan and Shaver define love, using Ainsworth's attachment theory, as comprising proximity, emotional support, self-exploration, and separation distress when parted from the loved one. Other components commonly agreed to be necessary for love are physical attraction, similarity, reciprocity, and self-disclosure. Early adolescent relationships are characterized by companionship, reciprocity, and sexual experiences. As emerging adults mature, they begin to develop attachment and caring qualities in their relationships, including love, bonding, security, and support for partners. Earlier relationships also tend to be shorter and exhibit greater involvement with social networks. Later relationships are often marked by shrinking social networks, as
8601-438: Is to define a reciprocal return with explicit reference to ability to pay. Progressive tax rates are an example of this. Considered in terms of reciprocity, this option seems based on an equal sacrifice interpretation of proportionality, rather than an equal benefit one. Under an equal sacrifice rule, making a quantitatively similar return will mean giving something back whose marginal value to oneself, given one's resources, equals
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#17327650318268742-575: Is to produce stable, productive, fair, and reliable social interactions, then there may be some tensions between things that accomplish this general goal and things that satisfy only the other three determinants. Responding to others’ harmful conduct raises this issue. As Plato observed ( Republic , Book I), is not rational to harm our enemies in the sense of making them worse, as enemies or as people, than they already are. We may reply to Plato by insisting that reciprocity merely requires us to make them worse-off, not worse, period. But if it turns out that
8883-587: The Electra complex , in which the young girl feels that her mother has castrated her and therefore becomes obsessed with her father. Freud's ideas influenced thought on parent–child relationships for decades. Another early conception of parent–child relationships was that love only existed as a biological drive for survival and comfort on the child's part. In 1958, however, Harry Harlow 's study " The Hot Wire Mother'' comparing rhesus' reactions to wire surrogate "mothers" and cloth "mothers" demonstrated that affection
9024-554: The I-Thou relationships described by Martin Buber . Like gratitude, these other ideas have things in common with the norm of reciprocity, but are quite distinct from it. Gratitude , in its ordinary sense, is as much about having warm and benevolent feelings toward one’s benefactors as it is about having obligations to them. Reciprocity, in its ordinary dictionary sense, is broader than that, and broader than all discussions that begin with
9165-903: The fifth grade , as measured by co-nomination as friends, and 55% had a mutual best friend. About 15% of children were found to be chronically friendless, reporting periods of at least six months without mutual friends. Friendships in childhood can assist in the development of certain skills, such as building empathy and learning different problem-solving techniques. Coaching from parents can help children make friends. Eileen Kennedy-Moore describes three key ingredients of children's friendship formation: (1) openness, (2) similarity, and (3) shared fun. Parents can also help children understand social guidelines they have not learned on their own. Drawing from research by Robert Selman and others, Kennedy-Moore outlines developmental stages in children's friendship, reflecting an increasing capacity to understand others' perspectives: "I Want It My Way", "What's In It For Me?", "By
9306-559: The "Sturm und drang", or storm and stress, model of adolescence. Psychological research has painted a much tamer picture. Although adolescents are more risk-seeking and emerging adults have higher suicide rates, they are largely less volatile and have much better relationships with their parents than the storm and stress model would suggest Early adolescence often marks a decline in parent-child relationship quality, which then re-stabilizes through adolescence, and relationships are sometimes better in late adolescence than prior to its onset. With
9447-815: The 1990s and has become " relationship science ", through the research done by Ellen Berscheid and Elaine Hatfield . This interdisciplinary science attempts to provide evidence-based conclusions through the use of data analysis . Romantic relationships have been defined in countless ways, by writers, philosophers, religions, scientists, and in the modern day, relationship counselors. Two popular definitions of love are Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love and Fisher's theory of love. Sternberg defines love in terms of intimacy, passion, and commitment, which he claims exist in varying levels in different romantic relationships. Fisher defines love as composed of three stages: attraction, romantic love, and attachment. Romantic relationships may exist between two people of any gender, or among
9588-879: The 1990s, reflecting the growing acceptance of 'non-heteronormative' relationships. It can be used to avoid making an assumption about the gender or relational status (e.g. married, cohabitating, civil union) of a person's intimate partner. Cohabiting relationships continue to rise, with many partners considering cohabitation to be nearly as serious as, or a substitute for, marriage. In particular, LGBTQ people often face unique challenges in establishing and maintaining intimate relationships. The strain of internalized discrimination, socially ingrained or homophobia , transphobia and other forms of discrimination against LGBTQ+ people, and social pressure of presenting themselves in line with socially acceptable gender norms can affect their health, quality of life , satisfaction, emotions etc. inside and outside their relationships. LGBTQ youth also lack
9729-753: The Greeks held a much broader conception of friendship than modern English-speaking cultures do. Aristotle wrote of there being three kinds of friendships: those in recognition of pleasure, those in recognition of advantage, and those in recognition of virtue. When discussing taboos of friendship it was found that Chinese respondents found more than their British counterparts. Evolutionary approaches to understanding friendship focus primarily on its function. In other words, what does friendship do for individuals, how does it work psychologically, and how do these processes affect people's actual behavior. Within this field, there are multiple proposed theories or perspectives about
9870-542: The Rules", "Caring and Sharing", and "Friends Through Thick and Thin." In adolescence, friendships become "more giving, sharing, frank, supportive, and spontaneous." Adolescents tend to seek out peers who can provide such qualities in a reciprocal relationship , and to avoid peers whose problematic behavior suggests they may not be able to satisfy these needs. Particular personal characteristics and dispositions are also features sought by adolescents, when choosing whom to begin
10011-496: The United States, Facebook has become an integral part of the dating process for emerging adults. Social media can have both positive and negative impacts on romantic relationships. For example, supportive social networks have been linked to more stable relationships. However, social media usage can also facilitate conflict, jealousy, and passive-aggressive behaviors such as spying on a partner. Aside from direct effects on
10152-407: The ability to empathize with their friends, and enjoy playing in groups. They also experience peer rejection as they move through the middle childhood years. Establishing good friendships at a young age helps a child to be better acclimated in society later on in their life. Based on the reports of teachers and mothers, 75% of preschool children had at least one friend. This figure rose to 78% through
10293-516: The basis of social groups and societies . They appear when people communicate or act with each other within specific social contexts , and they thrive on equitable and reciprocal compromises . Interdisciplinary analysis of relationships draws heavily upon the other social sciences, including, but not limited to: anthropology , linguistics , sociology , economics , political science , communication , mathematics , social work , and cultural studies . This scientific analysis had evolved during
10434-472: The basis of number of partners, they are of 2 types: monoamorous and polyamorous. A monoamorous relationship is between only two individuals. A polyamorous relationship is among three or more individuals. While many individuals recognize the single defining quality of a romantic relationship as the presence of love, it is impossible for romantic relationships to survive without the component of interpersonal communication. Within romantic relationships, love
10575-511: The basis that the parties involved admire each other on an intimate level, and enjoy commonality and socializing. Given that friendships provide people with many mental, social, and health benefits, people should want to associate with and form lasting relationships with people who can provide the benefits they need. Thus, people have specific friendship preferences for the types of behaviors and traits that are associated with these benefits. Recent work on friendship preferences shows that while there
10716-690: The benefits or rewards while minimizing costs. Relationships are also important for their ability to help individuals develop a sense of self . The relational self is the part of an individual's self-concept that consists of the feelings and beliefs that one has regarding oneself that develops based on interactions with others. In other words, one's emotions and behaviors are shaped by prior relationships. Relational self theory posits that prior and existing relationships influence one's emotions and behaviors in interactions with new individuals, particularly those individuals that remind them of others in their life. Studies have shown that exposure to someone who resembles
10857-420: The care they receive as infants by caring for their elderly parents; businesses may have long-term contractual obligations with each other: governments make treaties with each other. There are also one-to-one reciprocal relationships that are indirect. For example, there are sometimes long chains of exchanges, in which A gives a benefit to B, who passes on a similar benefit to C, and so on, in which each party in
10998-556: The chain expects that what goes around will eventually come back around. The classic anthropological example is the Kula exchange in the Trobriand Islands. One-to-many and many-to-one reciprocity often lies somewhere between direct reciprocal arrangements and generalized reciprocity. Informal clubs in which the hosting arrangements circulate among members are examples of the one-to-many variety. Bridal showers are examples of
11139-466: The close friend from further developing better relationships with their other friends. A recent multi-study paper found that friendship jealousy is activated by the potential loss of a friend by another person, is highly attuned to the feeling or thoughts of being replaced, and that the closer or more valued that friendship is, the more friendship jealousy someone will feel. Men and women also tend to express different levels of friendship jealousy depending on
11280-458: The couple dedicates more time to each other than to associates. Later relationships also tend to exhibit higher levels of commitment. Most psychologists and relationship counselors predict a decline of intimacy and passion over time, replaced by a greater emphasis on companionate love (differing from adolescent companionate love in the caring, committed, and partner-focused qualities). However, couple studies have found no decline in intimacy nor in
11421-525: The development, maintenance, and perception of romantic relationships, excessive social network usage is linked to jealousy and dissatisfaction in relationships. A growing segment of the population is engaging in purely online dating, sometimes but not always moving towards traditional face-to-face interactions. These online relationships differ from face-to-face relationships; for example, self-disclosure may be of primary importance in developing an online relationship. Conflict management differs, since avoidance
11562-401: The dissatisfied person to look for another friend who can meet the unmet need. For example, if someone is dissatisfied because a friend does not plan events, then that person could find a second friend, someone who enjoys planning events, instead of rejecting the first friend for not being able to single-handedly meet all of their needs. The dissolution of a friendship may be taken personally as
11703-418: The equation – requiring responses in kind: positive for positive, negative for negative. In this, it also differs from the golden rule, which is compatible with forgiveness and "turning the other cheek" but has notorious difficulties as a basis for corrective justice, punishment , and dealing with people (e.g., masochists) who have unusual motivational structures. Finally, the idea of enforcing, or carrying out
11844-667: The expression of emotional needs. Girls report more anxiety, jealousy, and relational victimization and less stability related to their friendships. Boys, on the other hand, report higher levels of physical victimization. Nevertheless, boys and girls tend to report relative satisfaction levels with their friendships. Women tend to be more expressive and intimate in their same-sex friendships and have fewer friends. Men are more likely to define intimacy in terms of shared physical experiences. In contrast, women are more likely to define it in terms of shared emotional ones. Men are less likely to make emotional or personal disclosures to other men because
11985-415: The family are very prevalent in the United States and usually involve women or children as victims. Common individual factors for abusers include low self-esteem, poor impulse control, external locus of control , drug use, alcohol abuse, and negative affectivity . There are also external factors such as stress, poverty, and loss which contribute to likelihood of abuse. Codependency initially focused on
12126-563: The family is "the school of justice," if it is unjust the moral education of children is distorted, and the injustice tends to spread to the society at large, and to be perpetuated in following generations. If that is right, then justice and reciprocity must define the boundaries within which we pursue even the most intimate relationships. A somewhat different thread on these matters begins with Aristotle ’s discussion of friendship, in Nicomachean Ethics 1155-1172a. He proposes that
12267-461: The focus of narcissistic interpersonal relationships is to promote one's self-concept. Generally, narcissists show less empathy in relationships and view love pragmatically or as a game involving others' emotions. Narcissists are usually part of the personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). In relationships, they tend to affect the other person as they attempt to use them to enhance their self-esteem. Specific types of NPD make
12408-475: The form of revolutionary or counterrevolutionary violence. It has been argued that the use of autonomous or remote controlled weaponized drones violate reciprocity. Political solutions which end the violence without dealing with the underlying injustice run the risk of continued social instability. A very deep and persistent line of philosophical discussion explores the way in which reciprocity can resolve conflicts between justice and self-interest, and can justify
12549-536: The function of forming friendships and making friends. One is the theory of Reciprocal Altruism which provides an explanation as to why individuals make friends with un-related others. It argues that friendship allows people to exchange benefits with each other and keep track of these exchanges in order to avoid exchanging benefits with a poor cooperator, or someone who will take benefits without giving any in return. Another perspective likens friendships to insurance investments and argues when deciding to invest into forming
12690-596: The function of friendships is called the Alliance Hypothesis which argues that the function of friendships is to acquire alliances for future conflicts or disputes. The Alliance Hypothesis states that conflicts typically can be won if and only if one side is able to acquire more allies than the competing side, all else equal, so individuals should be able to increase their odds of winning the conflict if they are able to recruit more alliances to their side. Choosing your allies can be very important and there exists
12831-402: The goal cannot be achieved. To some philosophers, a theory of justice based on reciprocity (or fairness, or fair play) is an attractive middle ground between a thoroughgoing concern with individual well-being and a thoroughgoing concern with social well-being. This has been part of the attraction of the most influential line of thought on distributive justice in recent Anglo-American philosophy –
12972-462: The highest or best form of friendship involves a relationship between equals – one in which a genuinely reciprocal relationship is possible. This thread appears throughout the history of Western ethics in discussions of personal and social relationships of many sorts: between children and parents, spouses, humans and other animals, and humans and god(s). The question is the extent to which the kind of reciprocity possible in various relationships determines
13113-410: The idea that parent-child relationships play a key role in the developing morality of young children. Secure attachments are also linked to less delinquency for children, and have been found to predict later relationship success. For most of the late nineteenth through the twentieth century, the perception of adolescent-parent relationships was that of a time of upheaval. G. Stanley Hall popularized
13254-584: The importance of sex, intimacy, and passionate love to those in longer or later-life relationships. Older people tend to be more satisfied in their relationships, but face greater barriers to entering new relationships than do younger or middle-aged people. Older women in particular face social, demographic, and personal barriers; men aged 65 and older are nearly twice as likely as women to be married, and widowers are nearly three times as likely to be dating 18 months following their partner's loss compared to widows. The term significant other gained popularity during
13395-489: The imposition (or limitation) of social, political, and legal obligations that require individuals to sacrifice their own interests. This aspect of the philosophical discussion of reciprocity attempts to bring together two ways of approaching a very basic question: What is the fundamental justification for the existence of social and political institutions – institutions that impose and enforce duties and obligations upon their members? Individual well-being . One obvious answer
13536-459: The increasing average age at marriage and more youths attending college and living with parents past their teens, the concept of a new period called emerging adulthood gained popularity. This is considered a period of uncertainty and experimentation between adolescence and adulthood. During this stage, interpersonal relationships are considered to be more self-focused, and relationships with parents may still be influential. Sibling relationships have
13677-439: The initiative in showing it", and continues further with a formula of proportionate return. These philosophical discussions concern the ways in which patterns and norms of reciprocity might have a role in theories of justice, stable and productive social systems, healthy personal relationships, and ideals for human social life generally. Philosophical work on reciprocity often pays considerable attention, directly or indirectly, to
13818-401: The interests people typically have in the welfare of their descendants, and the agreements fully reciprocal members of society would come to among themselves about such matters. Others (e.g., Lawrence Becker ) have explored the intuitive idea that acting on behalf of future generations may be required as a generalized form of reciprocity for benefits received from previous generations. What is
13959-586: The justification of a given war, and the methods used to prosecute it. When war represents a disproportionate response to a threat or an injury, it raises questions of justice related to reciprocity. When war fighting employs weapons that do not discriminate between combatants and noncombatants, it raises questions of justice related to reciprocity. A profound sense of injustice related to a lack of reciprocity – for example, between those privileged by socioeconomic status, political power, or wealth, and those who are less privileged, and oppressed – sometimes leads to war in
14100-431: The kind of mutual affection and benevolence possible in those relationships. This said, Nick Founder in "Finding True Friends" (2015) observes that reciprocation in personal relationships rarely follows a mathematical formula and the level of reciprocation, i.e. the give and take, will vary depending on the personalities involved, and situational factors such as which party has more control, persuasive power or influence. It
14241-415: The male in a heterosexual marriage would be dominant as they are responsible for economic provision. Social exchange theory and Rusbult's investment model show that relationship satisfaction is based on three factors: rewards, costs, and comparison levels (Miller, 2012). Rewards refer to any aspects of the partner or relationship that are positive. Conversely, costs are the negative or unpleasant aspects of
14382-480: The many-to-one variety. So are barn raising practices in some frontier communities. All of these are similar to direct reciprocity, since the beneficiaries are identified as such in each case, and contributors know exactly what they can expect in return. But because membership in the group changes, and needs for new meetings or marriages or barns are not always predictable, these cases differ significantly from precisely defined one-to-one cases. Generalized reciprocity
14523-429: The marginal value of the sacrifice made by the original giver, given her resources. Standard usage of the term justice shows its close general connection to the concept of reciprocity. Justice includes the idea of fairness, and that in turn includes treating similar cases similarly, giving people what they deserve, and apportioning all other benefits and burdens in an equitable way. Those things, further, involve acting in
14664-435: The married, have broken up and gotten back together with their existing partner. Terminating a marital relationship implies divorce or annulment . One reason cited for divorce is infidelity. The determinants of unfaithfulness are debated by dating service providers, feminists, academics, and science communicators. According to Psychology Today, women's, rather than men's, level of commitment more strongly determines if
14805-562: The model, the natural development of a relationship follows five stages: According to the latest Systematic Review of the Economic Literature on the Factors associated with Life Satisfaction (dating from 2007), stable and secure relationships are beneficial, and correspondingly, relationship dissolution is harmful. The American Psychological Association has summarized the evidence on breakups . Breaking up can actually be
14946-450: The most romance-related media tend to believe in predestined romance and that those who are destined to be together implicitly understand each other. These beliefs, however, can lead to less communication and problem-solving as well as giving up on relationships more easily when conflict is encountered. Social media has changed the face of interpersonal relationships. Romantic interpersonal relationships are no less impacted. For example, in
15087-545: The need to belong is so innately ingrained that it may be strong enough to overcome physiological and safety needs, such as children's attachment to abusive parents or staying in abusive romantic relationships. Such examples illustrate the extent to which the psychobiological drive to belong is entrenched. Another way to appreciate the importance of relationships is in terms of a reward framework. This perspective suggests that individuals engage in relations that are rewarding in both tangible and intangible ways. The concept fits into
15228-538: The norm appears to be a social inevitability. Reciprocity figures prominently in social exchange theory , evolutionary psychology , social psychology , cultural anthropology and rational choice theory . One-to-one reciprocity . Some reciprocal relationships are direct one-to-one arrangements between individuals, or between institutions, or between governments. Some of these are one-time arrangements, and others are embedded in long-term relationships. Families often have expectations that children will reciprocate for
15369-471: The norm of reciprocity at their center. The idea is to make the punishment fit the crime. This differs from utilitarian theories of punishment, which may use fittingness and proportionality as constraints, but whose ultimate commitment is to make punishment serve social goals such as general deterrence, public safety, and the rehabilitation of wrongdoers. In just war theory , notions of fittingness and proportionality are central, at least as constraints both on
15510-400: The norm of reciprocity eliminate unconditional love or loyalty? Some contemporary philosophers have criticized major figures in the history of Western philosophy, including John Rawls ’ early work, for making familial relationships more or less opaque in theories of justice. (See the reference below to Okin .) The argument is that families can be grossly unjust, and have often been so. Since
15651-408: The norm of reciprocity itself. How, for example, may badly disadvantaged people reciprocate for the public or private assistance they receive? Requiring a prompt and exact return of the benefit received may defeat the general purpose of the norm of reciprocity by driving disadvantaged people further into debt. Yet to waive the debt altogether, or to require only some discounted amount seems to defeat
15792-507: The number of friends an individual has as they become older has been explained by Carstensen's Socioemotional Selectivity Theory, which describes a change in motivation that adults experience when socializing. The theory states that an increase in age is characterized by a shift from information-gathering to emotional regulation; in order to maintain positive emotions, older adults restrict their social groups to those with whom they share an emotional bond. As one review phrased it: Research within
15933-410: The one carried on in the context of John Rawls ’ work. Future generations . It may also be that there is something to be gained, philosophically, from considering what obligations of generalized reciprocity present generations of human beings may have to future ones. Rawls considers (briefly) the problem of defining a "just savings principle" for future generations, and treats it as a consequence of
16074-587: The other man could use this information against them. However, they will disclose this information to women (as they are not in competition with them), and men tend to regard friendships with women as more meaningful, intimate, and pleasant. Male-male friendships are generally more like alliances , while female-female friendships are much more attachment-based. This also means that the end of male-male friendships tends to be less emotionally upsetting than that of female-female friendships. Women tend to be more socially adept than their male peers, among older adults. As
16215-433: The other offer a dinner in return? How soon? Must it be directly to the original benefactor, or will providing a comparable favor to someone else be appropriate? If the dinner one receives is unintentionally awful, must one reciprocate with something similarly awful? Sometimes an immediate tit-for-tat response seems inappropriate, and at other times it is the only thing that will do. Are there general principles for assessing
16356-520: The partner or their relationship. The comparison level includes what each partner expects of the relationship. The comparison level is influenced by past relationships, and general relationship expectations they are taught by family and friends. Individuals in long-distance relationships , LDRs, rated their relationships as more satisfying than individuals in proximal relationship, PRs. Alternatively, Holt and Stone (1988) found that long-distance couples who were able to meet with their partner at least once
16497-875: The past four decades has now consistently found that older adults reporting the highest levels of happiness and general well being also report strong, close ties to numerous friends. As family responsibilities and vocational pressures lessen, friendships become more important. Among the elderly, friendships can provide links to the larger community, serve as a protective factor against depression and loneliness, and compensate for potential losses in social support previously given by family members. Especially for people who cannot go out as often, interactions with friends allow for continued societal interaction. Additionally, older adults in declining health who remain in contact with friends show improved psychological well-being. Forming and maintaining friendships often requires time and effort. Friendships are foremost formed by choice, typically on
16638-681: The past six months". Numerous studies with adults suggest that friendships and other supportive relationships enhance self-esteem. Older adults report high levels of personal satisfaction in their friendships as they age, even as the overall number of friends tends to decline. This satisfaction is associated with an increased ability to accomplish activities of daily living , as well as a reduced decline in cognitive abilities , decreased instances of hospitalization, and better outcomes related to rehabilitation . The overall number of reported friends in later life may be mediated by increased lucidity, better speech and vision, and marital status. A decline in
16779-546: The person who is attempting to replace them in the friendship, such that women compared to men expressed more jealousy over the potential loss of a best-friend to another woman. Friendship is found among animals of higher intelligence, such as higher mammals and some birds . There is ample comparative animal research on the existence of friendships, or the existence of similar forms of relationships, in animals. The function of these relationships in non-human animals appears to primarily be for forming and solidifying alliances for
16920-425: The positive or negative aspects of children's relationships with their parents. Business is generally held to be distinct from personal relations, a contrasting mode which other than excursions from the norm is based on non-personal interest and rational rather than emotional concerns. Proximity: Proximity increases the chance of repeated exposure to the same person. Long-term exposure that can develop familiarity
17061-796: The precise reasons for the connection remain unclear. Most studies in this area are large prospective studies that follow people over time, and while there may be a correlation between the two variables (friendship and health status), researchers still do not know if there is a cause and effect relationship (such as: good friendships improve health). Theories that attempt to explain this link include that good friends encourage their friends to lead more healthy lifestyles; that good friends encourage their friends to seek help and access services when needed; that good friends enhance their friends' coping skills in dealing with illness and other health problems; and that good friends actually affect physiological pathways that are protective of health. Having few or no friends
17202-420: The problem becomes one of showing whether, and when, it might actually be mutually advantageous to follow the rules of justice even when it is inconvenient or costly to do so. Social contract theorists often invoke the value of reciprocal relationships to deal with this. Many human beings need help from one another from time to time in order to pursue their individual interests effectively. So if we can arrange
17343-455: The proper interpretation of one or more of the following conceptual issues. Reciprocity as distinct from related ideas . In Plato ’s Crito , Socrates considers whether citizens might have a duty of gratitude to obey the laws of the state, in much the way they have duties of gratitude to their parents. Many other philosophers have considered similar questions. (See the references below to Sidgwick, English, and Jecker for modern examples.) This
17484-653: The purpose also. Anglo-American legal theory and practice has examples of two options for dealing with this problem. One is to require a return that is equal to the benefit received, but to limit the use of that requirement in special cases. Bankruptcy rules are in part designed to prevent downward, irrecoverable spirals of debt while still exacting a considerable penalty. Similarly, there are rules for rescinding unconscionable contracts, preventing unjust enrichment, and dealing with cases in which contractual obligations have become impossible to perform. These rules typically have considerable transaction costs. Another kind of option
17625-436: The qualitative appropriateness of reciprocal responses? Reflective people typically practice a highly nuanced version of the norm of reciprocity for social life, in which the qualitative similarity or fittingness of the response appears to be determined by a number of factors. The nature of the transaction . One is the general nature of the transaction or relationship between the parties – the rules and expectations involved in
17766-400: The quality and the quantity of the response. The norm of reciprocity thus requires that we make fitting and proportional responses to both the benefits and harms we receive – whether they come from people who have been benevolent or malicious. Working out the conceptual details of this idea presents interesting questions of its own. The following matters are all considered at length in many of
17907-408: The recipient not get what he wants at the moment. Rather, it may be that the recipient should be given what he needs, in some objective sense, whether he ever comes to appreciate that it is good for him. General rationale . A final determinant of qualitative fit is the general rationale for having the norm of reciprocity in the first place. For example, if the ultimate point of practicing reciprocity
18048-404: The relation between reciprocity and love , friendship or family relationships? If such relationships are ideally ones in which the parties are connected by mutual affection and benevolence, shouldn't justice and reciprocity stay out of their way? Isn't impartiality inconsistent with love? Doesn't acting on principle take the affection out of friendship or family relationships? Doesn't following
18189-584: The relationship are subjective to the individual, and people in LDRs tend to report lower costs and higher rewards in their relationship compared to PRs. Confucianism is a study and theory of relationships, especially within hierarchies. Social harmony—the central goal of Confucianism—results in part from every individual knowing their place in the social order and playing their part well. Particular duties arise from each person's particular situation in relation to others. The individual stands simultaneously in several different relationships with different people: as
18330-508: The relationship may become transformed into a nonreciprocal form of friendship, or the friendship may fail altogether. To provide an everyday life example, should one's (person A) dog die, a good friend (person B) would offer support and a "shoulder to cry on" for person A struggling to deal with the death of their dog. After time, person B might suggest a new dog, to help person A move on from their loss. Reciprocation occurs from person A to person B, if person B obtains assistance from person A at
18471-411: The result of a sudden shock, such as learning that a friend holds incompatible values. Some social media influencers provide suggestions using therapy speak to break up with a friend. These have been criticized for being impersonal and upsetting, partially because they often reduce a conversation to a 30-second soundbite-sized announcement. Social media posts may also encourage confrontations akin to
18612-508: The same balance of each area. For example, women may prefer friendships that emphasize genuine positive regard and deeper self-disclosure, and men may prefer friendships with a little more agency. People with certain types of developmental disorders may struggle to make and maintain friendships. This is especially true of children with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), autism spectrum disorders, or children with Down syndrome . Studies found that strong social supports improve
18753-527: The same race or ethnicity, beginning in preschool , and peaking in middle or late childhood. As a result of social separation and confinement of the sexes, friendships between men and women have little presence in recorded history, having only become a widely accepted practice in the 20th century. In general, girl-girl friendship interactions among children tend to focus on interpersonal connections and mutual support . In contrast, boy-boy interaction tends to be more focused on social status , and may discourage
18894-1019: The saying "friends and family", and sometimes from lovers (e.g., "lovers and friends"), although the line is blurred with friends with benefits . Similarly, being in the friend zone describes someone who is restricted from rising from the status of friend to that of lover (see also unrequited love ). Friendship has been studied in academic fields, such as communication , sociology , social psychology , anthropology , and philosophy . Various academic theories of friendship have been proposed, including social exchange theory , equity theory , relational dialectics , and attachment styles . {{{annotations}}} The understanding of friendship by children tends to be focused on areas such as common activities, physical proximity, and shared expectations. Such friendships provide an opportunity for playing and practicing self-regulation . Most children tend to describe friendship in terms of things like sharing , and children are more likely to share with someone they consider to be
19035-438: The social support and peer connections enjoyed by hetero-normative young people. Nonetheless, comparative studies of homosexual and heterosexual couples have found few differences in relationship intensity, quality, satisfaction, or commitment. Although nontraditional relationships continue to rise, marriage still makes up the majority of relationships except among emerging adults. It is also still considered by many to occupy
19176-467: The sources listed below under References, and those authors typically defend particular proposals about how best to define the conceptual details of reciprocity. What follows here is simply an outline of the topics that are under philosophical scrutiny. Qualitative similarity . What counts as making a qualitatively appropriate or "fitting" response in various settings—positive for positive, negative for negative? If one person invites another to dinner, must
19317-419: The usual expectations about reciprocity. If a pair of friends often borrow each other's household tools, and one of them (suddenly deranged with anger) asks to borrow an antique sword from the other's collection, what is a fitting response? The example, in a slightly different form, goes back to Plato . The point is that in this unusual circumstance, reciprocity (as well as other considerations) may require that
19458-408: The version of the reciprocity norm we are using actually has the consequence of doing both, or at any rate not improving the situation, then we will have undermined the point of having it. Quantitative similarity . Another definitional issue concerns proportionality. What counts as too little, or too much in return for what we receive from others? In some cases, such as borrowing a sum of money from
19599-519: The workplace. "The workplace can crackle with competition, so people learn to hide vulnerabilities and quirks from colleagues. Work friendships often take on a transactional feel; it is difficult to say where networking ends and real friendship begins." Many adults value the financial well-being and security that their job provides more than developing friendships with coworkers. 2,000 American adults surveyed had an average of two close friends, defined as "people they had 'discussed important matters' with in
19740-729: Was true of adolescents who did engage in problematic behavior. Whether adolescents were influenced by their friends to engage in problem behavior depended on how much they were exposed to those friends, and whether they and their friendship groups "fit in" at school. Friendships formed during post-secondary education last longer than friendships formed earlier. In late adolescence, cross-racial friendships tend to be uncommon, likely due to prejudice and cultural differences. Friendship in adulthood provides companionship, affection, and emotional support, and contributes positively to mental well-being and improved physical health. Adults may find it particularly difficult to maintain meaningful friendships in
19881-553: Was wanted by any caregiver and not only the surrogate mothers. The study laid the groundwork for Mary Ainsworth 's attachment theory , showing how the infants used their cloth "mothers" as a secure base from which to explore. In a series of studies using the strange situation , a scenario in which an infant is separated from then reunited with the parent, Ainsworth defined three styles of parent-child relationship. Secure attachments are linked to better social and academic outcomes and greater moral internalization as research proposes
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