110-606: In heterosexual sexual relationships , concepts of age disparity , including what defines an age disparity, have developed over time and vary among societies. Differences in age preferences for mates can stem from partner availability, gender roles, and evolutionary mating strategies, and age preferences in sexual partners may vary cross-culturally. There are also social theories for age differences in relationships as well as suggested reasons for 'alternative' age-hypogamous relationships. Age-disparate relationships have been documented for most of recorded history and have been regarded with
220-677: A life history theory perspective, females that display these cues are judged to be more capable of reproductive investment. This notion of age preference due to peak fertility is supported by Kenrick, Keefe, Gabrielidis, and Cornelius's study, which found that although teenage males would accept a mate slightly younger than they are, there was a wider range of preference for ages above their own. Teenage males also report that their ideal mates would be several years older than they are. Buss and Schmitt stress that although long-term mating relationships are common for humans, there are both short-term and long-term mating relationships. Buss and Schmitt provided
330-528: A status symbol may be called a trophy wife . The opposite term, "trophy husband", does not have an agreed-upon use, but is becoming more common: some use the term to refer to the attractive stay-at-home husband of a much more famous man or woman; others use it to refer to the husband of a trophy wife, as he is her trophy due to his wealth and prestige. In the latter case, the term trophy is broadened to include any substantial difference in power originating from physical appearance, wealth, or status. The trophy label
440-656: A 2008 study from Psychology of Women Quarterly has found that women in age-hypogamous relationships are more satisfied and the most committed in their relationships than are younger women or similarly aged partners. Similarly, a 2023 study found that women with younger male partners scored higher in emotional intelligence, sexual self-efficacy, and subjective happiness. It has also been suggested that male partners engaging in age-hypogamous relationships are choosing beauty over age. A 2001 study found that when shown pictures of women of ages ranging from 20 to 45 with different levels of apparent attractiveness, regardless of age, men chose
550-518: A Sexual Strategies Theory that describes the two sexes as having evolved distinct psychological mechanisms that underlie the strategies for short- and long-term mating. This theory is directly relevant and compatible with those two already mentioned, Life History and Parental Investment . Males tend to appear oriented towards short-term mating (greater desire for short-term mates than women, prefer larger number of sexual partners, and take less time to consent to sexual intercourse) and this appears to solve
660-429: A close relationship. As well as asking participants a number of questions on mate selection criteria, they also had to provide the oldest and youngest partner they would accept. It was found that for all ages males were willing to accept females that are slightly older than they are (on average 4.5 years older), but they accept females considerably younger than their own age (on average 10 years younger). Females demonstrate
770-467: A committed relationship met their partner online. However, there remains skepticism about the effectiveness and safety of dating apps due to their potential to facilitate dating violence . Once an intimate relationship has been initiated, the relationship changes and develops over time, and the members may engage in commitment agreements and maintenance behaviors. In an ongoing relationship, couples must navigate protecting their own self-interest alongside
880-427: A complementary pattern, being willing to accept older males (on average 8 years older) and were also willing to accept males younger than themselves (on average 5 years younger). This is somewhat different to our close evolutionary relatives: chimpanzees . Male chimpanzees tend to prefer older females than younger and it is suggested that specific cues of female mate value are very different to humans. Buss attributed
990-433: A consistent preference for women in their early 20s, e.g. 50-year-old men found 22-year-old women most attractive. Cross-culturally, research has consistently supported the trend in which males prefer to mate with younger females, and females with older males. In a cross-cultural study that covered 37 countries, preferences for age differences were measured and research supported the theory that people prefer to marry close to
1100-442: A conversation partner is perceived as responsive and reciprocates self-disclosure, and people tend to like others who disclose emotional information to them. Other strategies used in the relationship formation stage include humor, initiating physical touch, and signaling availability and interest through eye contact, flirtatious body language, or playful interactions. Engaging in dating , courtship , or hookup culture as part of
1210-432: A country determines the age difference between spouses more than any other factor. One of the concerns of relationships with age disparities in some cultures is a perceived difference between people of different age ranges. These differences may be sexual, financial or social. Gender roles may complicate this even further. Socially, a society with a difference in wealth distribution between older and younger people may affect
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#17327934606941320-436: A culturally appropriate communication style influences anticipated relationship satisfaction. Culture can also impact expectations within a relationship and the relative importance of various relationship-centered values such as emotional closeness, equity, status, and autonomy. While love has been identified as a universal human emotion , the ways love is expressed and its importance in intimate relationships vary based on
1430-979: A few common differences between same-sex and different-sex intimacy. In the relationship formation period, the boundaries between friendship and romantic intimacy may be more nuanced and complex among sexual minorities. For instance, many lesbian women report that their romantic relationships developed from an existing friendship. Certain relationship maintenance practices also differ. While heterosexual relationships might rely on traditional gender roles to divide labor and decision-making power, same-sex couples are more likely to divide housework evenly. Lesbian couples report lower frequency of sex compared to heterosexual couples, and gay men are more likely to engage in non-monogamy . Same-sex relationships face unique challenges with regards to stigma, discrimination , and social support . As couples cope with these obstacles, relationship quality can be negatively affected. Unsupportive policy environments such as same-sex marriage bans have
1540-410: A friendship. Among scholars, the definition of an intimate relationship is diverse and evolving. Some reserve the term for romantic relationships, whereas other scholars include friendship and familial relationships . In general, an intimate relationship is an interpersonal relationship in which physically or emotionally intimate experiences occur repeatedly over time. Interpersonal attraction
1650-723: A greater variety of shared activities with partners, and feelings of autonomy and personal growth. Cougar (slang) Cougar is a slang term for a woman who seeks romantic or sexual relationships with significantly younger men. The origin of the word cougar as a slang term is debated, but it is thought to have originated in Western Canada and first appeared in print on the Canadian dating website Cougardate.com possibly as early as 1999. It has also been stated to have "originated in Vancouver , British Columbia , as
1760-637: A healthy intimate relationship. Couples with lower socioeconomic status are at risk for experiencing increased rates of dissolution and lower relationship satisfaction. Infidelity and sex outside a monogamous relationship are behaviors that are commonly disapproved of, a frequent source of conflict, and a cause of relationship dissolution. Low relationship satisfaction may cause people to desire physical or emotional connection outside their primary relationship. However, people with more sexual opportunities, greater interest in sex, and more permissive attitudes toward sex are also more likely to engage in infidelity. In
1870-401: A healthy relationship. Rather than spending energy investing in the relationship through shared activities, sex and physical intimacy, and healthy communication, couples under stress are forced to use their psychological resources to manage other pressing issues. Low socioeconomic status is a particularly salient stressful context that constrains an individual's ability to invest in maintaining
1980-472: A higher divorce rate as the age difference rose for when either the woman was older or the man was older. A 2008 study, however, concluded that the difference is not significant. In August 2010, Michael Dunn of the University of Wales Institute, Cardiff , completed and released the results of a study on age disparity in dating. Dunn concluded that "Not once across all ages and countries ... did females show
2090-437: A negative impact on well-being, while being out as a couple and living in a place with legal same-sex relationship recognition have a positive impact on individual and couple well-being. Some asexual people engage in intimate relationships that are solely emotionally intimate, but other asexual people's relationships involve sex as part of negotiations with non-asexual partners. A 2019 study of sexual minority individuals in
2200-427: A number of adaptive problems including using fewer resources to access a mate. Although there are a number of reproductive advantages to short-term mating, males still pursue long-term mates, and this is due to the possibility of monopolizing a female's lifetime reproductive resources. Consistent with findings, for both short-term and long-term mates, males prefer younger females (reproductively valuable). As they are
2310-415: A partner (or potential mate) who displays indicators of good physical health. Yet, there is also evidence that couples in committed intimate relationships tend to match each other in physical attractiveness, and are rated as similarly physically attractive by both the members of the couple and by outside observers. An individual's perception of their own attractiveness may therefore influence who they see as
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#17327934606942420-636: A partner ultimately depends on the marital or family system that is adopted by society. Women and men tend to seek a partner that will fit in with their society's sexual division of labour. For example, a marital system based on males being the provider and females the domestic worker, favours an age gap in the relationship. An older male is more likely to have more resources to provide to the family. The rational choice model also suggests that people look for partners who can provide for them in their life (bread-winners); as men traditionally earn more as they get older, women will therefore prefer older men. This factor
2530-411: A person's self-concept and personality. In a Brown University study, it has been noted that the social structure of a country determines the age difference between spouses more than any other factor, challenging evolutionary explanations. In regard to mate selection, social structural theory supports the idea that individuals aim to maximise what they can provide in the relationship in an environment that
2640-424: A preference for males significantly younger than male preferences for females" and that there was a "consistent cross-cultural preference by women for at least same-age or significantly older men". A 2003 AARP study reported that only 34% of women over 39 years old were dating younger men. A 2011 study suggested that marriage of younger men by women is positively correlated with decreased longevity, particularly for
2750-676: A put-down for older women who would go to bars and go home with whoever was left at the end of the night". Though, as with many formerly derogatory terms, there has been an increasing effort to " reclaim " the term in recent years. The term has been variously applied to middle-aged women who pursue romantic or sexual relations with men more than ten to fifteen years younger than they are. A 2010 British psychological study published in Evolution and Human Behavior asserted that men and women, in general, continue to follow traditional gender roles when searching for mates, and thus concluded that
2860-641: A realistic partner. Beyond physical appearance, people report desirable qualities they look for in a partner such as trustworthiness, warmth, and loyalty. However, these romantic ideals are not necessarily good predictors of actual attraction or relationship success. Research has found little evidence for the success of matching potential partners based on personality traits, suggesting that romantic chemistry involves more than compatibility of traits. Rather, repeated positive interactions between people and reciprocity of romantic interest seem to be key components in attraction and relationship formation. Reciprocal liking
2970-511: A relationship include justifying the decision, apologizing, avoiding contact ( ghosting ), or suggesting a "break" period before revisiting the decision. The dissolution of an intimate relationship is a stressful event that can have a negative impact on well-being, and the rejection can elicit strong feelings of embarrassment , sadness , and anger . Following a relationship breakup, individuals are at risk for anxiety, depressive symptoms, problematic substance use, and low self-esteem . However,
3080-749: A relationship often involves an evaluation of levels of satisfaction and commitment in the relationship. Relationship factors such as increased commitment and feelings of love are associated with lower chances of breakup, whereas feeling ambivalent about the relationship and perceiving many alternatives to the current relationship are associated with increased chances of dissolution. Specific individual characteristics and traits put people at greater risk for experiencing relationship dissolution. Individuals high in neuroticism (the tendency to experience negative emotions) are more prone to relationship dissolution, and research also shows small effects of attachment avoidance and anxiety in predicting breakup. Being married at
3190-762: A relationship. Individuals vary in attachment anxiety (the degree to which they worry about abandonment) and avoidance (the degree to which they avoid emotional closeness). Research shows that insecure attachment orientations that are high in avoidance or anxiety are associated with experiencing more frequent negative emotions in intimate relationships. Individuals high in attachment anxiety are particularly prone to jealousy and experience heightened distress about whether their partner will leave them. Highly anxious individuals also perceive more conflict in their relationships and are disproportionately negatively affected by those conflicts. In contrast, avoidantly attached individuals may experience fear of intimacy or be dismissive of
3300-447: A society. The rational choice model suggests that people look for partners who can provide for them in their life (bread-winners); as men earn more as they get older, their partners will therefore prefer older men. This factor is diminishing as more women enter the labor force. The demographic trends are concerned with the sex ratio in the society, the marriage squeeze , and migration patterns. Another explanation concerns cultural values:
3410-488: A stimulus compared to participants who view the photo of a stranger. In another laboratory study, women who received a text message from their partner showed reduced cardiovascular response to the Trier Social Stress Test , a stress-inducing paradigm. Disagreements within intimate relationships are a stressful event, and the strategies couples use to navigate conflict impact the quality and success of
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3520-679: A variety of risk factors for and types of perpetrators of intimate partner violence. Individuals who are exposed to violence or experience abuse in childhood are more likely to become perpetrators or victims of intimate partner violence as adults as part of the intergenerational cycle of violence . Perpetrators are also more likely to be aggressive, impulsive, prone to anger, and may show pathological personality traits such as antisocial and borderline traits. Patriarchal cultural scripts that depict men as aggressive and dominant may be an additional risk factor for men engaging in violence toward an intimate partner, although violence by female perpetrators
3630-953: A wide range of attitudes dependent on sociocultural norms and legal systems . Data in Australia and the United Kingdom show a similar pattern. Relationships with age disparities have been observed with both men and women as the older or younger partner. In various cultures, older men and younger women often seek one another for sexual or marital relationships. Older women sometimes date younger men as well, and in both cases wealth and apparent physical attractiveness are often relevant. Adolescent boys are generally sexually interested in adolescent girls and women somewhat older than they are. Older men also display an interest in women of their own age. However, research suggests that relationship patterns are more influenced by women's preferences than men's. Most men marry women younger than they are, with
3740-501: A younger age, having lower income, lower educational attainment, and cohabiting before marriage are also associated with risk of divorce and relationship dissolution. These characteristics are not necessarily the inherent causes of dissolution. Rather, they are traits that impact the resources that individuals are able to draw upon to work on their relationships as well as reflections of social and cultural attitudes toward relationship institutions and divorce. Common strategies for ending
3850-512: Is competition among members of the lower investing sex (generally males) over the parental investment of the higher investing sex (generally females) who will be more selective in their mate choice. However, human males tend to have more parental investment than do other mammal males (although females still tend to have more parental investment). Thus, both sexes will have to compete and be selective in mate choices. These two theories explain why natural and sexual selection acts slightly differently on
3960-665: Is a powerful facilitator for formation of relationships because it allows people to get to know each other through repeated interactions. Intimate partners commonly meet at college or school, as coworkers, as neighbors, at bars, or through religious community. Speed dating , matchmakers , and online dating services are more structured formats used to begin relationships. The internet in particular has significantly changed how intimate relationships begin as it allows people to access potential partners beyond their immediate proximity. In 2023, Pew Research Center found that 53% of people under 30 have used online dating, and one in ten adults in
4070-422: Is a stressful process, people are generally biased toward making decisions that uphold and further facilitate intimate relationships. These biases can lead to distortions in the evaluation of a relationship. For instance, people in committed relationships tend to dismiss and derogate attractive alternative partners, thereby validating the decision to remain with their more attractive partner. The decision to leave
4180-874: Is also a well-documented phenomenon and research finds other contextual and demographic characteristics to be more salient risks factors. Contextual factors such as high levels of stress can also contribute to risk of violence. Within the relationship, high levels of conflict and disagreements are associated with intimate partner violence, particularly for people who react to conflict with hostility. Cultural context has influence in many domains within intimate relationships including norms in communication, expression of affection, commitment and marriage practices, and gender roles . For example, cross-cultural research finds that individuals in China prefer indirect and implicit communication with their romantic partner, whereas European Americans report preferring direct communication. The use of
4290-657: Is an interpersonal relationship that involves emotional or physical closeness between people and may include sexual intimacy and feelings of romance or love. Intimate relationships are interdependent , and the members of the relationship mutually influence each other. The quality and nature of the relationship depends on the interactions between individuals, and is derived from the unique context and history that builds between people over time. Social and legal institutions such as marriage acknowledge and uphold intimate relationships between people. However, intimate relationships are not necessarily monogamous or sexual, and there
4400-492: Is associated lower risk of mortality and relationship quality impacts inflammatory responses such as cytokine expression and intracellular signaling . Furthermore, intimate partners are an important source of social support for encouraging healthy behaviors such as increasing physical activity and quitting smoking. Sexual activity and other forms of physical intimacy also contribute positively to physical health, while conflict between intimate partners negatively impacts
4510-456: Is closely tied to overall relationship satisfaction. Sex promotes intimacy, increases happiness, provides pleasure, and reduces stress. Studies show that couples who have sex at least once per week report greater well-being than those who have sex less than once per week. Research in human sexuality finds that the ingredients of high quality sex include feeling connected to your partner, good communication, vulnerability, and feeling present in
Age disparity in sexual relationships - Misplaced Pages Continue
4620-577: Is common to see monogamous relationships widely in more modern societies as there are more women in the marriage market, and polygamy is illegal throughout most industrialized countries, while in less developed countries it is more likely to be accepted (polygamy is most common in the "polygamy belt" region in West and Central Africa). The average age difference between husband and wife is 6.4 years in polygamous countries, compared to only 2.8 years in monogamous countries. As access to education increases worldwide,
4730-445: Is diminishing as more women enter the labour force and the gender pay gap decreases. Age-hypogamy defines a relationship where the woman is the older partner, the opposite of this being age- hypergamy . Marriage between partners of roughly similar age is known as "age homogamy ". Older female–younger male relationships are increasingly researched by social scientists. Slang terms such as "cougar" have been used in films, TV shows and
4840-426: Is limiting their utilities through expected gender roles in society and marriage. It is thought that a trade-off or equilibrium is reached, in regard to what each gender brings to a partnership, and that this equilibrium is most likely to be reached with a trade-off of ages when selecting a mate. Women trade youth and physical attractiveness for economic security in their male partner. This economic approach to choosing
4950-464: Is most meaningful when it is displayed by someone who is selective about who they show liking to. When potential intimate partners are getting to know each other, they employ a variety of strategies to increase closeness and gain information about whether the other person is a desirable partner. Self-disclosure , the process of revealing information about oneself, is a crucial aspect of building intimacy between people. Feelings of intimacy increase when
5060-444: Is often a key component of romantic intimate relationships. Physical touch is correlated with relationship satisfaction and feelings of love . While many intimate relationships include a physical or sexual component, the potential to be sexual is not a requirement for the relationship to be intimate. For example, a queerplatonic relationship is a non-romantic intimate relationship that involves commitment and closeness beyond that of
5170-443: Is often called a boytoy , toyboy , himbo , gigolo , or cub . In reverse, the terms rhino , trout and manther (a play on the panther term for women) are generally used to label an older man pursuing younger women, and the younger woman in such a relationship may be called a kitten or panther . If the woman is extremely young, the man may be labelled a cradle-snatcher (UK) or cradle robber (US) In gay slang,
5280-474: Is often perceived as objectifying the partner, with or without the partner's implicit consent. Where the primary perceived reason for a relationship with a significant age difference is sexual, many gender-specific terms have become popular in English-speaking cultures. A woman of middle to elderly age who pursues younger men is a cougar or puma , and a man in a relationship with an older woman
5390-439: Is perceived as central to these relationships, the elder (presumably more wealthy) partner is often called a "sugar daddy" or " sugar mama ", and the younger may be called a " sugar baby ". In extreme cases, a person who marries a wealthy older partner – especially one in poor health – may be called a " gold digger ". An attractive younger woman pursued by a wealthy man who is perceived as wanting her only for her appearance or as
5500-448: Is positively correlated with decreased longevity, particularly for women, though married people still have longer lifespans than singles. Social structural origin theory argues that the underlying cause of sex-differentiated behaviour is the concentration of men and women in differing roles in society. It has been argued that a reason gender roles are so prevalent in society is that the expectations of gender roles can become internalised in
5610-661: Is seen to be associated with decreased sex appeal and dating potential. There is debate in the literature as to what leads to age-hypogamy in sexual relationships. A number of variables have been argued to influence the likelihood of women entering into an age-hypogamous relationship, such as racial or ethnic background, level of education, income, marital status, conservatism, age, and number of sexual partners. For example, US Census data show an exaggerated sex ratio in African American communities, whereby there were 100 African American women for every 89 African American men. It
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#17327934606945720-464: Is shaped by natural selection. Parental Investment Theory refers to the value that is placed on a potential mate based on reproductive potential and reproductive investment. The theory predicts that preferred mate choices have evolved to focus on reproductive potential and reproductive investment of members of the opposite sex. This theory predicts both intrasexual selection and intersexual choice due to differences in parental investment; typically there
5830-474: Is the parasite-stress theory which explains that an increase of infectious disease can cause humans to evolve selectively according to these pressures. Evidence also shows that as disease risk gets higher, it puts a level of stress on mating selection and increases the use of polygamy . Table 2 shows that 17 of the 20 countries with the largest age-gaps between spouses practice polygyny , and that males range from 6.1 to 9.2 years older than their partners; 16 of
5940-460: Is the foundation of first impressions between potential intimate partners. Relationship scientists suggest that the romantic spark, or "chemistry", that occurs between people is a combination of physical attraction, personal qualities, and a build-up of positive interactions between people. Researchers find physical attractiveness to be the largest predictor of initial attraction. From an evolutionary perspective, this may be because people search for
6050-537: Is ultimately tied to increased likelihood of relationship dissolution or divorce. Violence within an intimate relationship can take the form of physical , psychological , financial , or sexual abuse . The World Health Organization estimates that 30% of women have experienced physical or sexual violence perpetrated by an intimate partner. The strong emotional attachment, investment, and interdependence that characterizes close relationships can make it difficult to leave an abusive relationship. Research has identified
6160-660: Is wide social and cultural variability in the norms and practices of intimacy between people. The course of an intimate relationship includes a formation period prompted by interpersonal attraction and a growing sense of closeness and familiarity. Intimate relationships evolve over time as they are maintained, and members of the relationship may become more invested in and committed to the relationship. Healthy intimate relationships are beneficial for psychological and physical well-being and contribute to overall happiness in life. However, challenges including relationship conflict, external stressors, insecurity, and jealousy can disrupt
6270-476: The ideal age of a female partner at the beginning of a relationship. Frederick Locker-Lampson 's Patchwork from 1879 states the opinion "A wife should be half the age of her husband with seven years added." Max O'Rell 's Her Royal Highness Woman from 1901 gives the rule in the format "A man should marry a woman half his age, plus seven." A similar interpretation is also present in the 1951 play The Moon Is Blue by F. Hugh Herbert : "Haven't you ever heard that
6380-520: The 20 countries with the largest age-gaps are in Africa. In regions such as Sub-Saharan Africa the use of polygyny is commonly practiced as a consequence of high sex-ratios (more males per 100 females) and passing on heterozygous (diverse) genetics from different females to offspring. When disease is prevalent, if a male is producing offspring with a more diverse range of alleles, offspring will be more likely to withstand mortality from disease and continue
6490-534: The United States found that while asexual individuals were less likely to have recently had sex, they did not differ from non-asexual participants in rates of being in an intimate relationship. Asexual individuals face stigma and the pathologization of their sexual orientation, and report difficulty navigating assumptions about sexuality in the dating scene. Various terms including " queerplatonic relationship " and "squish" (a non-sexual crush) have been used by
6600-547: The United States from the study. The cougar concept has been increasingly used in television shows, advertising, and film. The 2007 film Cougar Club was dedicated to the subject. In spring 2009, TV Land broadcast The Cougar , a reality series in which an older woman would pick a date from twenty younger men. Similarly, Extreme Cougar Wives was a reality television special broadcast which aired on TLC in 2012. It followed several women and their journeys dating younger men. The 2009 sitcom Cougar Town originally explored
6710-436: The United States from the study. The evolutionary approach, based on the theories of Charles Darwin , attempts to explain age disparity in sexual relationships in terms of natural selection and sexual selection . Within sexual selection, Darwin identified a further two mechanisms which are important factors in the evolution of sex differences ( sexual dimorphism ): intrasexual selection (involves competition with those of
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#17327934606946820-412: The United States, research has found that between 15 and 25% of adults report ever cheating on a partner. When one member of a relationship violates agreements of sexual or emotional exclusivity, the foundation of trust in the primary relationship is negatively impacted, and individuals may experience depression , low self-esteem , and emotional dysregulation in the aftermath of an affair . Infidelity
6930-557: The age in females' first marriage lower as older men seek younger and younger females. In Western societies such as the US and Europe, there is a trend of smaller age-gaps between spouses, reaching its peak average in Southern Europe of 3.3 years. Using the same pathogen-stress model, there is a lower prevalence of disease in these economically developed areas, and therefore a reduced stress on reproduction for survival. Additionally, it
7040-644: The age of marriage increases with it, with more of the youth staying in education for longer. The mean age of marriage in Europe is well above 25, and averaging at 30 in Nordic countries, however this may also be due to the increase of cohabitation in European countries. In some countries in Europe such as France, Netherlands, United Kingdom, Norway, Estonia, Finland and Denmark, 20–30% of women aged 20–34 are cohabiting as opposed to legally marrying. In addition to this with
7150-473: The age when female fertility is at its highest (24–25 years). Analysing the results further, cross culturally, the average age females prefer to marry is 25.4 years old, and they prefer a mate 3.4 years older than themselves, therefore their preferred mate would be aged 28.8 years of age. Males however prefer to marry when they are 27.5 years old, and a female to be 2.7 years younger than themselves, yielding their preferred mate to be 24.8 years old. The results from
7260-791: The asexual community to describe non-sexual intimate relationships and desires. Non-monogamy, including polyamory , open relationships , and swinging , is the practice of engaging in intimate relationships that are not strictly monogamous, or consensually engaging in multiple physically or emotionally intimate relationships. The degree of emotional and physical intimacy between different partners can vary. For example, swinging relationships are primarily sexual, whereas people in polyamorous relationships might engage in both emotional and physical intimacy with multiple partners. Individuals in consensually non-monogamous intimate relationships identify several benefits to their relationship configuration including having their needs met by multiple partners, engaging in
7370-465: The birth of a child can drastically change the relationship and necessitate adaptation and new approaches to maintaining intimacy. The transition to parenthood can be a stressful period that is generally associated with a temporary decrease in healthy relationship functioning and a decline in sexual intimacy. As a relationship develops, intimate partners often engage in commitment agreements, ceremonies, and behaviors to signal their intention to remain in
7480-430: The conflict, which can be a reflection of insecure attachment orientation and previous negative relationship experiences. When conflicts go unresolved, relationship satisfaction is negatively impacted. Constructive conflict resolution strategies include validating the other person's point of view and concerns, expressing affection, using humor, and active listening. However, the effectiveness of these strategies depend on
7590-656: The costs incurred from short-term mating. Although some of these costs will be the same for males and females (risk of STIs and impairing long-term mate value), the costs for women will be more severe due to paternity uncertainty (cues of multiple mates will be disfavoured by males). In contrast to above, in short-term mating, females will tend to favour males that demonstrate physical attractiveness, as this displays cues of "good genes". Cues of good genes tend to be typically associated with older males such as facial masculinity and cheek-bone prominence. Buss and Schmitt found similar female preferences for long-term mating which supports
7700-793: The culture within which a relationship takes place. Culture is especially salient in structuring beliefs about institutions that recognize intimate relationships such as marriage . The idea that love is necessary for marriage is a strongly held belief in the United States, whereas in India, a distinction is made between traditional arranged marriages and " love marriages " (also called personal choice marriages). Advances in legal relationship recognition for same-sex couples have helped normalize and legitimize same-sex intimacy. Broadly, same-sex and different-sex intimate relationships do not differ significantly, and couples report similar levels of relationship satisfaction and stability. However, research supports
7810-687: The difference being between two and three years in Spain, the UK reporting the difference to be on average about three years, and the US, two and a half. The pattern was also confirmed for the rest of the world, with the gap being largest in Africa. However, the number of women marrying younger men is rising. A study released in 2003 by the UK's Office for National Statistics concluded that the proportion of women in England and Wales marrying younger men rose from 15% to 26% between 1963 and 1998. Another study also showed
7920-478: The difficulty and stigma of many so-called cougars. In The Graduate (1967), a married mother pursues a much younger man (21 in the film). On the soap opera Days of Our Lives , character Eve Donovan is a cougar, repeatedly sleeping with the much younger JJ Deveraux. The "cougar phenomenon", as it is called, is frequently associated with present-day, glamorous celebrities such as Madonna , Sam Taylor-Johnson and Demi Moore . However, it has been claimed that
8030-949: The dynamics of the relationship. Although the " cougar " trend, in which older women date much younger men, is often portrayed in the media as a widespread and established facet of modern Western culture, at least one academic study has found the concept to be a "myth". A British psychological study published in Evolution and Human Behavior in 2010 concluded that men and women, in general, continued to follow traditional gender roles when searching for mates. The study found that, as supported by other academic studies, most men preferred younger, "attractive" women, while most women, of any age, preferred successful, established men their age or older. The study found very few instances of older women pursuing much younger men and vice versa. The study has been criticized, however, for limiting their results to online dating profiles, which are traditionally not used by those seeking older or younger partners, and for excluding
8140-401: The family line. Another reason that polygynous communities have larger age-gaps between spouses is that intrasexual competition for females increases as fewer females remain on the marriage market (with males having more than one wife each), therefore the competitive advantage values younger females due to their higher reproductive value. As the competition for younger women becomes more common,
8250-803: The gender pay gap decreasing, more women work equal hours (average of 40 hours in Europe and the US) to males and look less for males with financial resources. In regions such as the Caribbean and Latin America there is a lower SMAM difference than expected; however, there are also a large proportion of partners living in consensual unions; 24% in Brazil, 20% in Nicaragua and 18% in Dominican Republic. A 2011 study suggested that age disparity in marriage
8360-551: The girl is supposed to be half the man's age, plus seven?" Despite this, there are contemporary sources indicating that a woman falling below this target age was still considered inappropriate, or otherwise a hindrance to the relationship. For example, in John Fox Jr. 's aforementioned 1903 novel The Little Shepherd of Kingdom Come , the rule is cited immediately before a woman is described as being "too young [for her potential partner], and she can wait." A 2000 study found that
8470-414: The higher the value placed in having children, the higher the age gap will be. Yet Canadian researchers have found that age-disparate couples are less likely to have children than similarly aged ones. As people have chosen to marry later and remarriage becomes more common, the age differences between couples have increased as well. In a Brown University study, it has been noted that the social structure of
8580-577: The higher-investing sex, females tend to be more demanding when picking a mate (as predicted by parental investment theory ). They also tend to have a more difficult task of evaluating a male's reproductive value accurately based on physical appearance, as age tends to have fewer constraints on a male's reproductive resources. Buss attributed the older age preference to older males displaying characteristics of high providing-capacity such as status and resources. In terms of short-term and long-term mating, females tend to be oriented towards long-term mating due to
8690-583: The immune and endocrine systems and can increase blood pressure. Laboratory experiments show evidence for the association between support from intimate partners and physical health. In a study assessing recovery from wounds and inflammation , individuals in relationships high in conflict and hostility recovered from wounds more slowly than people in low-hostility relationships. The presence or imagined presence of an intimate partner can even impact perceived pain. In fMRI studies, participants who view an image of their intimate partner report less pain in response to
8800-413: The interdependent nature of relationships, one partner's life satisfaction influences and predicts change in the other person's life satisfaction even after controlling for relationship quality. Social support from an intimate partner is beneficial for coping with stress and significant life events. Having a close relationship with someone who is perceived as responsive and validating helps to alleviate
8910-539: The interest of maintaining the relationship. This necessitates compromise , sacrifice, and communication. In general, feelings of intimacy and commitment increase as a relationship progresses, while passion plateaus following the excitement of the early stages of the relationship. Engaging in ongoing positive shared communication and activities is important for strengthening the relationship and increasing commitment and liking between partners. These maintenance behaviors can include providing assurances about commitment to
9020-462: The male preference for younger females to certain youthful cues. In females, relative youth and apparent physical attractiveness (which males valued more than females did) demonstrated cues for fertility and high reproductive capacity. Buss stated the specific age preference of around 25 years implied that fertility was a stronger ultimate cause of mate preference than reproductive value as data suggested that fertility peaks in females around mid-20s. From
9130-682: The media to depict older females with younger male mates. The picture often displays a stereotypical pairing of a divorced, middle-aged, white, affluent female dating a younger male with the relationship taking the form of a non-commitment arrangement between the partners. Although age-hypogamous relationships have historically been very infrequent, recent US census data has shown an increase in age-hypogamous relationships from 6.4% in 2000 to 7.7% in 2012. There may be many reasons why age-hypogamous relationships have been less frequent until recently . Sexual double standards in society, in particular, may account for their rarity. In many contexts, aging in women
9240-611: The members of the relationship negotiate to try to arrive at a compromise. Individuals vary in how they typically engage with conflict. Gottman describes that happy couples differ from unhappy couples in their interactions during conflict: unhappy couples tend to use more frequent negative tone of voice, show more predictable behavior during communication, and get stuck in cycles of negative behavior with their partner. Other unproductive strategies within conflict include avoidance and withdrawal, defensiveness, and hostility. These responses may be salient when an individual feels threatened by
9350-453: The moment. High quality sex in intimate relationships can both strengthen the relationship and improve well-being for each individual involved. High quality intimate relationships have a positive impact on physical health , and associations between close relationships and health outcomes involving the cardiovascular , immune , and endocrine systems have been consistently identified in the scientific literature. Better relationship quality
9460-424: The more "attractive" individuals as long-term partners. One " rule of thumb " to determine whether an age difference is "socially acceptable" holds that a person should never date someone whose age is less than half their own plus seven years. According to this rule, a 28-year-old would date no one younger than 21 (half of 28, plus 7) and a 50-year-old would date no one younger than 32 (half of 50, plus 7). Although
9570-504: The negative impact of stress, and shared activities with an intimate partner aids in regulating emotions associated with stressful experiences. Support for positive experiences can also improve relationship quality and increase shared positive emotions between people. When a person responds actively and constructively to their partner sharing good news (a process called "capitalization"), well-being for both individuals increases. In intimate relationships that are sexual, sexual satisfaction
9680-444: The notion that, for long-term relationships, females prefer cues of high resource capacity, one of which is age. Dataclysm , a book by Christian Rudder based on data from the dating site OkCupid , found that young women tend to find men their own age or slightly older most desirable, e.g. 20-year-old women found 23-year-old men most attractive and 30-year-old women found 30-year-old men most attractive. In contrast, men displayed
9790-564: The period following a break-up can also promote personal growth, particularly if the previous relationship was not fulfilling. Intimate relationships impact happiness and satisfaction with life . While people with better mental health are more likely to enter intimate relationships, the relationships themselves also have a positive impact on mental health even after controlling for the selection effect . In general, marriage and other types of committed intimate relationships are consistently linked to increases in happiness. Furthermore, due to
9900-534: The posited "cougar phenomenon" does not exist, or more precisely, exists but is rare. The study found that most men preferred younger, physically attractive women, while most women, of any age, preferred successful, established men their age or older. The study found very few instances of older women pursuing much younger men and vice versa. The study has been criticized, however, for limiting their results to online dating profiles, which are traditionally not used by those seeking older or younger partners, and for excluding
10010-407: The potential benefits of a close relationship and thus have difficulty building an intimate connection with a partner. Stress that occurs both within and outside an intimate relationship—including financial issues, familial obligations, and stress at work—can negatively impact the quality of the relationship. Stress depletes the psychological resources that are crucial for developing and maintaining
10120-579: The provenance of the rule is unclear, it is sometimes said to have originated in France. The rule appears in John Fox Jr. 's 1903 novel The Little Shepherd of Kingdom Come , in American newspapers in 1931 attributed to Maurice Chevalier , and in The Autobiography of Malcolm X , attributed to Elijah Muhammad . In many early sources, the rule was primarily presented as a formula to calculate
10230-578: The relationship and lead to distress and relationship dissolution . Intimacy is the feeling of being in close, personal association with another person. Emotional intimacy is built through self-disclosure and responsive communication between people, and is critical for healthy psychological development and mental health. Emotional intimacy produces feelings of reciprocal trust, validation, vulnerability, and closeness between individuals. Physical intimacy —including holding hands , hugging , kissing , and sex —promotes connection between people and
10340-596: The relationship formation period allows individuals to explore different interpersonal connections before further investing in an intimate relationship. Context, timing, and external circumstances influence attraction and whether an individual is receptive to beginning an intimate relationship. Individuals vary across the lifespan in feeling ready for a relationship, and other external pressures including family expectations, peers being in committed relationships, and cultural norms influence when people decide to pursue an intimate relationship. Being in close physical proximity
10450-442: The relationship, engaging in shared activities, openly disclosing thoughts and feelings, spending time with mutual friends, and contributing to shared responsibilities. Physical intimacy including sexual behavior also increases feelings of closeness and satisfaction with the relationship. However, sexual desire is often greatest early in a relationship, and may wax and wane as the relationship evolves. Significant life events such as
10560-426: The relationship. Common sources of conflict between intimate partners include disagreements about the balance of work and family life, frequency of sex, finances, and household tasks. Psychologist John Gottman 's research has identified three stages of conflict in couples. First, couples present their opinions and feelings on the issue. Next, they argue and attempt to persuade the other of their viewpoint, and finally,
10670-446: The relationship. This might include moving in together, sharing responsibilities or property, and getting married . These commitment markers increase relationship stability because they create physical, financial, and symbolic barriers and consequences to dissolving the relationship. In general, increases in relationship satisfaction and investment are associated with increased commitment. Individuals in intimate relationships evaluate
10780-468: The relative personal benefits and costs of being in the relationship, and this contributes to the decision to stay or leave. The investment model of commitment is a theoretical framework that suggests that an evaluation of relationship satisfaction, relationship investment, and the quality of alternatives to the relationship impact whether an individual remains in a relationship. Because relationships are rewarding and evolutionarily necessary, and rejection
10890-410: The rule was fairly accurate at describing the minimum age of a woman that a man would marry or date. However, the rule was not found to be descriptive of the minimum age of a man that a woman would marry or date, nor (by reversing the formula) of the maximum age that either sex would marry or date. This rule implies that the younger individual should be at least 14 years older than the difference between
11000-487: The same sex over access to mates) and intersexual choice (discriminative choice of mating partners). Life history theory (that includes Parental Investment Theory) provides an explanation for the above mechanisms and strategies adopted by individuals, leading to age disparity in relationships. Life history theory posits that individuals have to divide energy and resources between activities (as energy and resources devoted to one task cannot be used for another task) and this
11110-476: The singulate mean age at marriage (SMAM) difference, the difference in average age at first marriage between men and women, across the main regions in the world (refer to Table. 1). However, in some regions of the world there is a substantially larger age gap between marriage partners in that males are much older than their wife (or wives) or women are much younger than their husband (or husbands). A theory that can explain this finding from an evolutionary perspective
11220-718: The study therefore show that the mean preferred marriage age difference (3.04 years averaging male and female preferred age) corresponds very closely with the actual mean marriage age difference (2.99). The preferred age of females is 24.8 years and the actual average age females marry is 25.3 years old (and 28.2 for males) which actually falls directly on the age where females are most fertile , however, this assumes that people are having children immediately after marrying. Moreover, these patterns fit many proposed explanations for age differences: evolutionarily adapted mating preferences, socialisation, and gendered economic differences. The United Nations Marriage Statistics Department measures
11330-481: The term chickenhawk may be used. If the much-younger target of affections is not of the legal age of consent or appears as such, the term jailbait may be applied to them, cautioning older partners against involvement. An older term for any licentious or lascivious man is a lecher . That term and its shortening, lech, have come to commonly describe an elderly man who makes passes at much younger women. Sexual relationship An intimate relationship
11440-465: The topic and severity of the conflict and the characteristics of the individuals involved. Repeated stressful instances of unresolved conflict might cause intimate partners to seek couples counseling , consult self-help resources, or consider ending the relationship. Attachment orientations that develop from early interpersonal relationships can influence how people behave in intimate relationships, and insecure attachment can lead to specific issues in
11550-464: The trend of influential women dating younger men extends back a lot further through history to notable figures including Cleopatra , Catherine the Great and Elizabeth I . Rasa von Werder , also known as Kellie Everts, had become a self-proclaimed cougar herself and photographer of younger men in her later years, in and around the college town Binghamton, New York . At Binghamton University , she
11660-489: The two ages and the older individual should be at least 14 years older than twice their age difference. For example, a couple with a 10-year age gap must be aged at least 24 and 34 respectively for the rule to be met. Partner age disparities are typically met with some disdain in industrialized nations, and there are various derogatory terms for participants in these relationships. In English-speaking countries, where financial disparity and an exchange of money for companionship
11770-737: The two sexes so that they display different preferences. For example, different age preferences may be a result of sex differences in mate values assigned to the partner's sex at those ages. A study conducted by David Buss investigated sex differences in mate preferences in 37 cultures with 10,047 participants. In all 37 cultures it was found that males preferred females younger than themselves and females preferred males older than themselves. These age preferences were confirmed in marriage records with males marrying females younger than them. A more recent study has supported these findings, conducted by Schwarz and Hassebrauck. This study used 21,245 participants between 18 and 65 years of age who were not involved in
11880-549: The varying literature surrounding age-hypogamous relationships is research indicating that a woman's marital status can influence her likelihood of engaging in age-hypogamous relationships. Married women are less likely to be partnered with younger men than are non-married women. More recent findings suggest that previously married women are more likely to engage in an age-hypogamous sexual relationships than are women who are married or who have never been married. Despite social views depicting age-hypogamous relationships as short lived,
11990-466: The woman, though married individuals generally still have longer lifespans than singles. There are complex and diverse reasons that people enter into age-disparate relationships, and a recent review in the Journal of Family Theory and Review showed vast differences across contexts. Explanations for age disparity usually focus on either the rational choice model or the analysis of demographic trends in
12100-455: Was shown that African American women were more likely to be in age-hypogamous or age-hypergamous marriages in comparison with White American women. However, more recent evidence has found that women belonging to racial categories besides African American or White were more likely to sleep with younger men, showing that it is still unclear which, if any, ethnic groups are more likely to have age-hypogamous relationships. Another example illustrating
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