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71-512: BDSM is a variety of often erotic practices or roleplaying involving bondage , discipline , dominance and submission , sadomasochism , and other related interpersonal dynamics. Given the wide range of practices, some of which may be engaged in by people who do not consider themselves to be practising BDSM, inclusion in the BDSM community or subculture often is said to depend on self-identification and shared experience. The initialism BDSM

142-411: A "scene" is the stage or setting where BDSM activity takes place, as well as the activity itself. The physical place where a BDSM activity takes place is usually called a dungeon, though some prefer less dramatic terms, including playspace or club . A BDSM activity can, but need not, involve sexual activity or sexual roleplay . A characteristic of many BDSM relationships is the power exchange from

213-521: A clear legal and ethical distinction between BDSM and such crimes as sexual assault and domestic violence . Some BDSM practitioners prefer a code of behaviour that differs from SSC. Described as " risk-aware consensual kink " (RACK), this code shows a preference for a style in which the individual responsibility of the involved parties is emphasized more strongly, with each participant being responsible for their own well-being. Advocates of RACK argue that SSC can hamper discussion of risk because no activity

284-515: A crotch panel to cover the genitalia (usually lined with absorbent material such as cotton ), and a pair of leg openings that, like the waistband, are often made of elastomer . Various materials are used, but are usually chosen to be breathable. Panties are made of a variety of materials, including cotton , lace , latex , leather , lycra , mesh , nylon , PVC , polyester , rawhide , satin , and silk . Construction typically consists of two pieces (front and rear) that are joined by seams at

355-415: A domestic arrangement, such as servitude or a casual or committed lifestyle master/slave relationship . BDSM elements may involve settings of slave training or punishment for breaches of instructions. A scene can also take place in a club, where the play can be viewed by others. When a scene takes place in a public setting, it may be because the participants enjoy being watched by others, or because of

426-514: A few choose not to use a safeword at all. The initialism BDSM stands for: These terms replaced sadomasochism , as they more broadly cover BDSM activities and focus on the submissive roles instead of psychological pain. The model is only an attempt at phenomenological differentiation. Individual tastes and preferences in the area of human sexuality may overlap among these areas. Under the initialism BDSM, these psychological and physiological facets are also included: The term bondage describes

497-402: A given relationship—are called switches . The precise definition of roles and self-identification is a common subject of debate among BDSM participants. BDSM is an umbrella term for certain kinds of erotic behaviour between consenting adults, encompassing various subcultures . Terms for roles vary widely among the subcultures. Top and dominant are widely used for those partner(s) in

568-432: A heterosexual, lesbian and separatist point of view, respectively, seeing eroticism as both a political force and cultural critique for marginalized groups, or as Mario Vargas Llosa summarized: "Eroticism has its own moral justification because it says that pleasure is enough for me; it is a statement of the individual's sovereignty". Audre Lorde , a lesbian Caribbean-American writer and outspoken feminist , called

639-425: A public flagellation) or loss of freedom caused physically (for example, chaining the submissive partner to the foot of a bed). Another aspect is the structured training of the bottom. Dominance and submission (also known as D&s , Ds or D/s ) is a set of behaviours, customs and rituals relating to the giving and accepting of control of one individual over another in an erotic or lifestyle context. It explores

710-480: A range of sensual experiences, such as pinching; biting; scratching with fingernails; erotic spanking ; erotic electrostimulation ; and the use of crops , whips , liquid wax , ice cubes , and Wartenberg wheels . Fixation by handcuffs , ropes , or chains may occur. The repertoire of possible "toys" is limited only by the imagination of both partners. To some extent, everyday items, such as clothespins , wooden spoons , and plastic wrap , are used in sex play. It

781-406: A safeword is considered serious misconduct and could constitute a crime, depending on the relevant law , since the bottom or top has explicitly revoked their consent to any actions that follow the use of the safeword. For other scenes, particularly in established relationships, a safeword may be agreed to signify a warning ("this is getting too intense") rather than explicit withdrawal of consent; and

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852-624: A sense of being taken care of and bonding with a partner. The study further goes on to list three aspects that made the successful relationships work: early disclosure of interests and continued transparency, a commitment to personal growth, and the use of the dominant/submissive roles as a tool to maintain the relationship. In closing remarks, the author of the study theorizes that due to the serious potential for harm, couples in BDSM relationships develop increased communication that may be higher than in mainstream relationships. A professional dominatrix or professional dominant , often referred to within

923-541: A session, but is not essential. For legal reasons, such explicit sexual interaction is seen only rarely in public play spaces and is sometimes banned by the rules of a party or playspace. Whether it is a public "playspace"—ranging from a party at an established community dungeon to a hosted play "zone" at a nightclub or social event—the parameters of allowance can vary. Some have a policy of panties / nipple sticker for women (underwear for men) and some allow full nudity with explicit sexual acts. The fundamental principles for

994-518: A threshold one cannot handle. They are something both parties can remember and recognize and are, by definition, not words commonly used playfully during any kind of scene. Words such as no , stop , and don't , are often inappropriate as a safeword if the roleplaying aspect includes the illusion of non-consent. The traffic light system (TLS) is the most commonly used set of safewords. At most clubs and group-organized BDSM parties and events, dungeon monitors (DMs) provide an additional safety net for

1065-416: A transgression that dissolves the rational world but is always temporary, as well as that, "Desire in eroticism is the desire that triumphs over the taboo. It presupposes man in conflict with himself". For Bataille, as well as many French theorists, "Eroticism, unlike simple sexual activity, is a psychological quest...eroticism is assenting to life even in death". Queer theory and LGBTQ studies consider

1136-406: Is an array of BDSM practitioners who take part in sessions in which they do not receive any personal gratification. They enter such situations solely with the intention to allow their partners to indulge their own needs or fetishes . Professional dominants do this in exchange for money, but non-professionals do it for the sake of their partners. In some BDSM sessions, the top exposes the bottom to

1207-515: Is applied to everything with a connection to the love of the sexes; one employs it particularly to characterize...a dissoluteness, an excess". Libertine literature such as those by John Wilmot, 2nd Earl of Rochester evoked eroticism to the readers. Because eroticism is wholly dependent on the viewer's culture and personal tastes pertaining to what, exactly, defines the erotic, critics have often confused eroticism with pornography , with anti-pornography activist Andrea Dworkin saying, "Erotica

1278-786: Is commonly considered that a pleasurable BDSM experience during a session depends strongly on the top's competence and experience and the bottom's physical and mental state. Trust and sexual arousal help the partners enter a shared mindset. Following are some of the types of BDSM play: Besides safe sex , BDSM sessions often require a wider array of safety precautions than vanilla sex (sexual behaviour without BDSM elements). To ensure consent related to BDSM activity, pre-play negotiations are commonplace, especially among partners who do not know each other very well. In practice, pick-up scenes at clubs or parties may sometimes be low in negotiation (much as pick-up sex from singles bars may not involve much negotiation or disclosure). These negotiations concern

1349-461: Is dependent not just upon an individual's sexual morality , but also the culture and time in which an individual resides. Because the nature of what is erotic is fluid, early definitions of the term attempted to conceive eroticism as some form of sensual or romantic love or as the human sex drive ( libido ); for example, the Encyclopédie of 1755 states that the erotic "is an epithet which

1420-432: Is first recorded in a Usenet post from 1991, and is interpreted as a combination of the abbreviations B/D (Bondage and Discipline), D/s (Dominance and submission), and S/M (Sadism and Masochism). BDSM is now used as a catch-all phrase covering a wide range of activities, forms of interpersonal relationships , and distinct subcultures. BDSM communities generally welcome anyone with a non-normative streak who identifies with

1491-479: Is simply high-class pornography; better produced, better conceived, better executed, better packaged, designed for a better class of consumer." This confusion, as Lynn Hunt writes, "demonstrate[s] the difficulty of drawing... a clear generic demarcation between the erotic and the pornographic": "the history of the separation of pornography from eroticism... remains to be written". Audre Lorde recognises eroticism and pornography as “two diametrically opposed uses of

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1562-458: Is truly "safe", and that discussion of even low-risk possibilities is necessary for truly informed consent. They further argue that setting a discrete line between "safe" and "not-safe" activities ideologically denies consenting adults the right to evaluate risks versus rewards for themselves; that some adults will be drawn to certain activities regardless of the risk; and that BDSM play—particularly higher-risk play or edgeplay —should be treated with

1633-406: Is usually structured such that it is possible for the consenting partner to withdraw their consent at any point during a scene; for example, by using a safeword that was agreed on in advance. Use of the agreed safeword (or occasionally a "safe symbol" such as dropping a ball or ringing a bell, especially when speech is restricted) is seen by some as an explicit withdrawal of consent. Failure to honor

1704-495: The dark culture , being based on a more or less strictly enforced dress code ; often clothing made of latex, leather or vinyl/PVC, lycra and so on, emphasizing the body's shape and the primary and secondary sexual characteristics. The requirement for such dress codes differ. While some events have none, others have a policy in order to create a more coherent atmosphere and to prevent outsiders from taking part. Eroticism As French novelist Honoré de Balzac stated, eroticism

1775-506: The equipment available, or because having third parties present adds safety for play partners who have only recently met. Most standard social etiquette rules still apply when at a BDSM event, such as not intimately touching someone you do not know, not touching someone else's belongings (including toys), and abiding by dress codes. Many events open to the public also have rules addressing alcohol consumption, recreational drugs, cell phones, and photography. A specific scene takes place within

1846-457: The BDSM culture, even though they are sadistic in nature. In 1843, the Ruthenian physician Heinrich Kaan published Psychopathia Sexualis ( Psychopathy of Sex ), a writing in which he converts the sin conceptions of Christianity into medical diagnoses. With his work, the originally theological terms perversion , aberration and deviation became part of the scientific terminology for

1917-501: The adoption of the term BDSM as a distinction from the now common usage of those psychological terms, abbreviated as S&M . BDSM is commonly mistaken as being "all about pain". Freud was confounded by the complexity and counterintuitiveness of practitioners' doing things that are self-destructive and painful. Rather than pain, BDSM practitioners are primarily concerned with power, humiliation, and pleasure. The aspects of D/s and B/D may not include physical suffering at all, but include

1988-563: The afterglow of orgasm . The corresponding trance -like mental state is also called subspace , for the submissive, and domspace , for the dominant. Some use body stress to describe this physiological sensation. The experience of algolagnia is important, but is not the only motivation for many BDSM practitioners. The philosopher Edmund Burke called the sensation of pleasure derived from pain "sublime". Couples engaging in consensual BDSM tend to show hormonal changes that indicate decreases in stress and increases in emotional bonding. There

2059-487: The basis on which understanding provides a foundation for acknowledging difference. Lorde suggests that if we suppress the erotic rather than recognize its presence, it takes on a different form. Rather than enjoying and sharing with one another, it becomes objectifying, which she says translates into abuse as we attempt to hide and suppress our experiences. Panties Panties are women's form-fitting underpants . Typical components include an elastic waistband ,

2130-520: The bottom and a highly unpleasant experience that may even entail severe physical harm. The very broad range of BDSM "toys" and physical and psychological control techniques often requires a far-reaching knowledge of details related to the requirements of the individual session, such as anatomy , physics , and psychology . Despite these risks, BDSM activities usually result in far less severe injuries than sports like boxing and football, and BDSM practitioners do not visit emergency rooms any more often than

2201-487: The bottom carries out the action and the top receives it, they have not necessarily switched roles. The abbreviations sub and dom are frequently used instead of submissive and dominant . Sometimes the female-specific terms mistress , domme , and dominatrix are used to describe a dominant woman, instead of the sometimes gender-neutral term dom . Individuals who change between top/dominant and bottom/submissive roles—whether from relationship to relationship or within

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2272-496: The bottom to the dominant partner, and bondage features prominently in BDSM scenes and sexual roleplay. "The Scene" (including use of the definite article the ) is also used in the BDSM community to refer to the BDSM community as a whole. Thus someone who is on "the Scene", and prepared to play in public, might take part in "a scene" at a public play party . A scene can take place in private between two or more people and can involve

2343-552: The child psyche and laid the groundwork for the scientific perspective on the subject in the following decades. This led to the first time use of the compound term sado-masochism (German sado-masochismus ) by the Viennese psychoanalytic Isidor Isaak Sadger in their work, " Über den sado-masochistischen Komplex " ("Regarding the sadomasochistic complex") in 1913. In the later 20th century, BDSM activists have protested against these conceptual models, as they were derived from

2414-446: The community; this may include cross-dressers , body modification enthusiasts, animal roleplayers , rubber fetishists , and others. Activities and relationships in BDSM are often characterized by the participants' taking on roles that are complementary and involve inequality of power; thus, the idea of informed consent of both the partners is essential. The terms submissive and dominant are often used to distinguish these roles:

2485-419: The concept from a non-heterosexual perspective, viewing psychoanalytical and modernist views of eroticism as both archaic and heterosexist , written primarily by and for a "handful of elite, heterosexual, bourgeois men" who "mistook their own repressed sexual proclivities" as the norm. Theorists like Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick , Gayle S. Rubin and Marilyn Frye all write extensively about eroticism from

2556-457: The context of an encounter or a relationship. BDSM actions can often take place during a specific period of time agreed to by both parties, referred to as "play", a "scene", or a "session". Participants usually derive pleasure from this, even though many of the practices—such as inflicting pain or humiliation or being restrained—would be unpleasant under other circumstances. Explicit sexual activity , such as sexual penetration , may occur within

2627-974: The crotch and sides; an additional gusset is often in the crotch, with the waistband and leg-openings made from elastomer. The earliest known use of underwear that resembles modern panties dates back to 4,400 B.C. during the Badari period in Egypt . In the United States and Canada, "panties" is the preferred term to refer to female undergarments. In the United Kingdom and occasionally in other Commonwealth countries such as Australia, and New Zealand, as well as in Ireland, panties may be referred to as " knickers ", "undies", or simply "underwear". The last two of these are gender-neutral terms and can be used for either male or female styles of underwear bottoms,

2698-434: The culture as a pro-dom(me) , offers services encompassing the range of bondage, discipline, and dominance in exchange for money. The term dominatrix is little-used within the non-professional BDSM scene. A non-professional dominant woman is more commonly referred to simply as a domme , dominant , or femdom (short for female dominance). Professional submissives ("pro-subs"), although far more rare, do exist. In BDSM,

2769-520: The desired outcome. Safewords are one way for BDSM practices to protect both parties. However, partners should be aware of each other's psychological states and behaviours to prevent instances where the "freakouts" prevent the use of safewords. After any BDSM activities, it is important that the participants go through sexual aftercare, to process and calm down from the activity. After the sessions, participants can need aftercare because their bodies have experienced trauma and they need to mentally come out of

2840-528: The dominant is the top and the submissive is the bottom. In S/M, the sadist is usually the top and the masochist the bottom, but these roles are frequently more complicated or jumbled (as in the case of being dominant, masochists who may arrange for their submissive to carry out S/M activities on them). As in B/D, the declaration of the top/bottom may be required, though sadomasochists may also play without any power exchange at all, with both partners equally in control of

2911-520: The dominant partner ("dom") takes psychological control over the submissive ("sub"). The terms top and bottom are also used; the top is the instigator of an action while the bottom is the receiver of the action. The two sets of terms are subtly different: for example, someone may choose to act as bottom to another person, for example, by being whipped, purely recreationally, without any implication of being psychologically dominated, and submissives may be ordered to massage their dominant partners. Although

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2982-468: The eighteenth century, dictionaries defined the erotic as that which concerned love...eroticism was the intrusion into the public sphere of something that was at base private". This theme of intrusion or transgression was taken up in the twentieth century by the French philosopher Georges Bataille , who argued that eroticism performs a function of dissolving boundaries between human subjectivity and humanity,

3053-578: The erotic a source of power specifically identified with the female, often corrupted or distorted by oppression, since it poses the challenge of change. "For women, this has meant a suppression of the erotic as a considered source of power and information within our lives". In "The Uses of the Erotic" within Sister Outsider , she discusses how the erotic comes from the sharing of joy, "whether physical, emotional, psychic, or intellectual" and provides

3124-471: The exercise of BDSM require that it be performed with the informed consent of all parties. Since the 1980s, many practitioners and organizations have adopted the motto (originally from the statement of purpose of GMSMA—a gay SM activist organization) safe, sane and consensual ( SSC ), which means that everything is based on safe activities, that all participants are of sufficiently sound mind to consent, and that all participants do consent. Mutual consent makes

3195-492: The first time. The German psychiatrist Richard von Krafft-Ebing introduced the terms sadism and masochism to the medical community in his work Neue Forschungen auf dem Gebiet der Psychopathia sexualis ( New research in the area of Psychopathy of Sex ) in 1890. In 1905, Sigmund Freud described sadism and masochism in his Three Essays on the Theory of Sexuality as diseases developing from an incorrect development of

3266-667: The general conventions and etiquette of BDSM, such as requirements for mutual consent and agreement as to the limits of any BDSM activity. This agreement can be incorporated into a formal contract . In addition, most clubs have additional rules which regulate how onlookers may interact with the actual participants in a scene. As is common in BDSM, these are founded on the catchphrase "safe, sane, and consensual". BDSM play parties are events in which BDSM practitioners and other similarly interested people meet in order to communicate, share experiences and knowledge, and to "play" in an erotic atmosphere. BDSM parties show similarities to ones in

3337-429: The general population. It is necessary to be able to identify each person's psychological " squicks " or triggers in advance to avoid them. Such losses of emotional balance due to sensory or emotional overload are a fairly commonly discussed issue. It is important to follow participants' reactions empathetically and continue or stop accordingly. For some players, sparking "freakouts" or deliberately using triggers may be

3408-467: The interests and fantasies of each partner and establish a framework of both acceptable and unacceptable activities. This kind of discussion is a typical "unique selling proposition" of BDSM sessions and quite commonplace. Additionally, safewords are often arranged to provide for an immediate stop of any activity if any participant should so desire. Safewords are words or phrases that are called out when things are either not going as planned or have crossed

3479-545: The mood to play due to the increased demand for responsibility on their part: being aware of the safety of the situation and prepared to remove the bottom from a dangerous scenario, being conscious of the desires and limits of the bottom, and so on. The author of the study stressed that successful long-term BDSM relationships came after "early and thorough disclosure" from both parties of their BDSM interests. Many of those engaged in long-term BDSM relationships learned their skills from larger BDSM organizations and communities. There

3550-401: The more mental aspect of BDSM. This is also the case in many relationships not considering themselves as sadomasochistic; it is considered to be a part of BDSM if it is practiced purposefully. The range of its individual characteristics is thereby wide. Often, BDSM contracts are set out in writing to record the formal consent of the parties to the power exchange, stating their common vision of

3621-511: The names of the Marquis de Sade and Leopold von Sacher-Masoch , based on the content of the authors' works. Although the names of de Sade and Sacher-Masoch are attached to the terms sadism and masochism respectively, the scenes described in de Sade's works do not meet modern BDSM standards of informed consent. BDSM is solely based on consensual activities, and based on its system and laws. The concepts presented by de Sade are not in accordance with

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3692-543: The other hand, the masochist enjoys being hurt, humiliated, or suffering within the consensual scenario. Sadomasochistic scenes sometimes reach a level that appears more extreme or cruel than other forms of BDSM—for example, when a masochist is brought to tears or is severely bruised—and is occasionally unwelcome at BDSM events or parties. Sadomasochism does not imply enjoyment through causing or receiving pain in other situations (for example, accidental injury, medical procedures). The terms sadism and masochism are derived from

3763-473: The partner by tying their appendages together; for example, by the use of handcuffs or ropes, or by lashing their arms to an object. Bondage can also be achieved by spreading the appendages and fastening them with chains or ropes to a St. Andrew's cross or spreader bars . The term discipline describes the use of rules and punishment to control overt behaviour. Punishment can be pain caused physically (such as caning), humiliation caused psychologically (such as

3834-407: The people playing there, ensuring that house rules are followed and safewords respected. BDSM participants are expected to understand practical safety aspects, such as the potential for harm to body parts. Contusion or scarring of the skin can be a concern. Using crops, whips, or floggers , the top's fine motor skills and anatomical knowledge can make the difference between a satisfying session for

3905-535: The philosophies of two singular historical figures. Both Freud and Krafft-Ebing were psychiatrists; their observations on sadism and masochism were dependent on psychiatric patients, and their models were built on the assumption of psychopathology . BDSM activists argue that it is illogical to attribute human behavioural phenomena as complex as sadism and masochism to the "inventions" of two historic individuals. Advocates of BDSM have sought to distinguish themselves from widely held notions of antiquated psychiatric theory by

3976-517: The play. The term sadomasochism is derived from the words sadism and masochism . These terms differ somewhat from the same terms used in psychology since those require that the sadism or masochism cause significant distress or involve non-consenting partners. Sadomasochism refers to the aspects of BDSM surrounding the exchange of physical or emotional pain. Sadism describes sexual pleasure derived by inflicting pain , degradation, humiliation on another person or causing another person to suffer. On

4047-402: The potential results. For their consent, they must have relevant information (the extent to which the scene will go, potential risks, if a safeword will be used, what that is, and so on) at hand and the necessary mental capacity to judge. The resulting consent and understanding is occasionally summarized in a written " contract ", which is an agreement of what can and cannot take place. BDSM play

4118-419: The practice of physical restraint. Bondage is usually, but not always, a sexual practice. While bondage is a very popular variation within the larger field of BDSM, it is nevertheless sometimes differentiated from the rest of this field. A 2015 study of over 1,000 Canadians showed that about half of all men held fantasies of bondage, and almost half of all women did as well. In a strict sense, bondage means binding

4189-466: The preoccupation on this kind of pleasure can lead participants to view humans as insensate means of sexual gratification. Dominance and submission of power are an entirely different experience, and are not always psychologically associated with physical pain. Many BDSM activities involve no pain or humiliation, but just the exchange of power and control. During the activities, the participants may feel endorphin effects comparable to "runner's high" and to

4260-472: The relationship dynamic. The purpose of this kind of agreement is primarily to encourage discussion and negotiation in advance and then to document that understanding for the benefit of all parties. Such documents have not been recognized as being legally binding, nor are they intended to be. These agreements are binding in the sense that the parties have the expectation that the negotiated rules will be followed. Often other friends and community members may witness

4331-438: The relationship or activity who are, respectively, the physically active or controlling participants. Bottom and submissive are widely used for those partner(s) in the relationship or activity who are, respectively, the physically receptive or controlled participants. The interaction between tops and bottoms—where physical or mental control of the bottom is surrendered to the top—is sometimes known as "power exchange", whether in

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4402-408: The relationship shared the same tastes and desires was rare, and most relationships required both partners to take up or put away some of their desires. The BDSM activities that the couples partook in varied in sexual to nonsexual significance for the partners who reported doing certain BDSM activities for "couple bonding, stress release, and spiritual quests". The most reported issue amongst respondents

4473-548: The role play. A 2003 study, the first to look at these relationships, fully demonstrated that "quality long-term functioning relationships" exist among practitioners of BDSM, with either sex being the top or bottom (the study was based on 17 heterosexual couples). Respondents in the study expressed their BDSM orientation to be built into who they are, but considered exploring their BDSM interests an ongoing task, and showed flexibility and adaptability in order to match their interests with their partners. The "perfect match" where both in

4544-424: The same regard as extreme sports, with both respect and the demand that practitioners educate themselves and practice the higher-risk activities to decrease risk. RACK may be seen as focusing primarily upon awareness and informed consent, rather than accepted safe practices. Consent is the most important criterion. The consent and compliance for a sadomasochistic situation can be granted only by people who can judge

4615-430: The sensations experienced by different emotions of the mind. Of the three categories of BDSM, only sadomasochism specifically requires pain, but this is typically a means to an end, as a vehicle for feelings of humiliation, dominance, etc. In psychology, this aspect becomes a deviant behaviour once the act of inflicting or experiencing pain becomes a substitute for or the main source of sexual pleasure. In its most extreme,

4686-629: The sexual”, defining the erotic as “a measure between the beginnings of our sense of self and the chaos of our strongest feelings.” In her 1978 essay, Uses of the Erotic: The Erotic as Power , Lorde identifies the erotic as a source of creative power that is deeply rooted in a spiritual plane of unrecognised or unexpressed feeling and sensation. Influenced by Sigmund Freud , psychotherapists have turned to Greek philosophy for an understanding of eros' heightened aesthetic . For Plato , Eros takes an almost transcendent manifestation when

4757-435: The signing of such a document in a ceremony, and so parties violating their agreement can result in loss of face, respect or status with their friends in the community. In general, as compared to conventional relationships, BDSM participants go to greater lengths to negotiate the important aspects of their relationships in advance, and to contribute significant effort toward learning about and following safe practices. In D/s,

4828-484: The subject seeks to go beyond itself and form a communion with the object/other: "the true order of going...to the things of love, is to use the beauties of earth as steps...to all fair forms, and from fair forms to fair actions, and from fair actions to fair notions, until from fair notions he arrives at the notion of absolute beauty". Modern French conceptions of eroticism can be traced to the Age of Enlightenment , when "in

4899-400: Was a lot of discussion by the respondents on the amount of control the top possessed in the relationships but "no discussion of being better, or smarter, or of more value" than the bottom. Couples were generally of the same mind of whether or not they were in an ongoing relationship, but in such cases, the bottom was not locked up constantly, but that their role in the context of the relationship

4970-452: Was always present, even when the top was doing non-dominant activities such as household chores, or the bottom being in a more dominant position. In its conclusion the study states: The respondents valued themselves, their partners, and their relationships. All couples expressed considerable goodwill toward their partners. The power exchange between the cohorts appears to be serving purposes beyond any sexual satisfaction, including experiencing

5041-427: Was not finding enough time to be in role with most adopting a lifestyle wherein both partners maintain their dominant or submissive role throughout the day. Amongst the respondents, it was typically the bottoms who wanted to play harder, and be more restricted into their roles when there was a difference in desire to play in the relationship. The author of the study, Bert Cutler, speculated that tops may be less often in

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